


He's My Butler!

by zayntopsall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royal, Angst, Butler!Zayn, M/M, Prince!Louis, Romance, Sexual Content, Top!Zayn, bottom!Zayn, powerbottom!Louis, top!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 16:43:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zayntopsall/pseuds/zayntopsall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn Malik became the newly appointed butler of Prince Louis Tomlinson, known for being a mischievous, trouble-maker and never taking things seriously.<br/>But even with all the warnings Zayn heard, the lad wasn't able to resist the urge to know Louis better, to get closer to him - completely crossing the boundaries between a mere butler to his prince.<br/>When his feelings surfaced, Zayn must choose between what's rightful for his job to what he's feeling, in slight hope that for Louis, this isn't all fun and games.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Things in here are purely fictional: I invented the prince’s schedule and lifestyle, the things that will happen here (including celebrations, festivities, rules, etc.), people’s behavior, the palace is another part of my imagination and do remember, that this is set in the modern times, so don’t send me hate because of inaccuracy. Thank you! x

“Take off your pants,” was the first thing Louis William Tomlinson, the Prince of London, said to his newly appointed butler, Zayn Malik on their first time on being alone. Zayn was expecting more like, ‘don’t interrupt me when I’m asleep’ or ‘I don’t want you following me everywhere’, typical royalty rules like that.

Instead, he ordered him to remove his pants, in which he had no choice but to oblige, Louis trailed light kisses on his neck down to his chest.

That was when Zayn received his first ever blowjob from a man, not to forget, the Prince of London.

And for some reasons, it is happening again.

“Y-your majesty, we can’t-,“ Zayn stammers, his hands gently pushes Louis’s small, delicate fingers away on the buckle of his belt. “We can’t do this.”

“Why not?” Louis asks, he pressed his body closer to Zayn, the heat emits from their exposed chests. Louis’s lips hovers into his ears, “I thought you liked it when I suck your cock, Z?” Louis hums as he playfully tapped his fingers on Zayn’s buckle, waiting for an answer from his butler.

“I – I do, but your majesty-“Louis cut him short as he surged his lips to Zayn’s jaw, his tongue sliding down to his collarbone, biting and sucking it until Zayn’s hips buck to meet Louis’s hard erection beneath his pants.

Zayn closes his eyes to think of a good reason to tell the Prince this shouldn’t be what a butler must be doing. They have to stop doing this before things get worse, before they get caught and before Zayn loses control.

“I told you to call me ‘Lou’ when we’re alone. ‘Your Majesty’ is so formal and my ears hurt whenever I hear those words – I’ve been listening to that ever since they slapped my arse to know if I’m awake.”

“But it’s the King’s orders,” Zayn abruptly stops, feeling the loss of contact on his chest. He opens his eyes, only to find Louis on his knees, his hands fumbling on the buckle of his belt and with a swift movement, his pants pooled into his feet. Zayn muffled his moan when he felt the cold air seeps into the thin fabric of his boxers.

“When we’re alone, my orders are superior.” Louis looks up to him, hazel eyes meeting his blue eyes – dilating with so much lust and wanting, with playfulness and danger. “Is that clear?”

“Yes,”

“Yes, what?”

Zayn gulps, “Y-Yes, Lou.” It was by far the hardest word to come out of his mouth. Zayn didn’t want to get used to calling his Majesty by his name. It wasn’t the job given to him – he was not to befriend the Prince, he was just there to serve him and provide his needs. Unfortunately, he had no idea that giving sexual pleasure was part of ‘providing to the Prince’s needs’.

“Well, isn’t that nice to hear.” Louis smiled at him before he finally tugs his fingers on the waistband of his boxers, pulling it down as it joins his pants on his feet.

Zayn wasn’t able to say anything anymore as the warmth of Louis’s hand wraps around his throbbing muscle that was aching for his touch. Louis gave it a few pumps before he swipes his tongue on the tip, leaving Zayn shivering on his position – Louis must’ve noticed his reaction and so he did it again, teasing him to do something rough on him, but Zayn kept up with his control. He flicks his tongue on Zayn’s tip, letting the precome trickle on the slit before he trails his tongue to swallow it.

Zayn’s one hand found its way to the door knob and the other one on the wooden frame of the drawer beside them; he kept his hips away from snapping violently. But that control was slowly fading away when Louis starts to bob his head down, his one hand pumping on the part his mouth can’t reach while his free hand was down to his cock, stroking himself.

The vibration that Louis was creating inside his mouth was driving Zayn over the edge. It was too much – but not enough and Zayn can’t take the teasing anymore.

“Fuck, Lou-“ His one hand grips onto Louis’s hair, gently tugging it away from his mouth, his stomach pooling in with such pleasure, seeing Louis’s mouth opens, saliva smeared all over his lips and his eyes saying that he can do anything to him. “Can we – can we do it like this?” Zayn asks just to be sure and Louis replied a breathy, ‘fuck yeah’.

“Shit-“ Zayn’s fingers scratched to his scalp, guiding him to his cock as he thrusts in and out. Louis immediately sat on his heels, relaxing himself before Zayn pulls himself out of the door he was leaning against so he was standing completely and pushing Louis’s mouth deeply into his cock. Zayn watches Louis’s reactions closely, any sign of struggle or pain and he was going to stop. But all that worries was swallowed by the sensation crawling inside his body.

He rolled his hips forward, wanting to feel more Louis’s mouth. Zayn pulled away Louis’s mouth, saliva slipping out from his lips. “I’m close-”

“So am I, do it faster, Z…” He shoved Louis back to his cock and thrusts in him faster. Zayn threw his head back, their soft moans and heavy breathing surrounded the Prince’s room, and Louis slightly scrapes his teeth on his skin, moaning as he spills his release on the carpet.

Zayn kept his head steady, hardly calling out his name as he empties himself on Louis’s throat.

He knelt in front of Louis, just like he did when he was officially appointed as the new butler of the Prince in front of the Royal Court. Zayn pulled out his handkerchief, his fingers caressing Louis’s cheeks and wiping off the remnants of their deed.

“I’m sorry.” Zayn started, he was too embarrassed to say anything further.

Louis chuckles, “What are you apologizing for?” Louis held his hand away from his lips. “Sucking dicks means you have to swallow ‘everything’. I told you that on the first time we did this, right?”

Zayn had no idea where the Prince got this language of his. While the rest of the people in the palace were talking with such class that sometimes, Zayn wasn’t able to understand; Louis says words that don’t clearly fit for a prince. He loves to swear and say these things that he and those who came outside the palace could only understand.

“Your Majesty, please watch your words. It’s unlikely for you to say those things, especially in public.”

“But I’m not in public.” Louis retorted. “And it’s just the two of us! I could only do this when I’m with you, Z. Are you removing that privilege I have, as well?” Louis clung to his arm like a kid, pouting and fluttering his eyes repeatedly. “And I said, call me Lou! Lou, Lou, Lou-”

“Alright, Lou.” Zayn sighs, the name itself was like torture to him, “I’ll call you that more often If you promise not to say ‘dick’ ‘cock’ ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ in public.” Louis laughs breathlessly and Zayn didn’t know why it brought a slight flutter on his stomach.

“You know me too well, already, Z. I like that.” Zayn smiles a bit but then he realizes that they were almost naked and Zayn stands up and assisting Louis to follow him.

“You need to take a bath,” Zayn says, opening the door to Louis’s very own grand bathroom. Louis smirks as he removes his polo completely, and then pulls Zayn inside the room as well, locking it even before he could ask what he is doing.

“Let’s take a bath together, Z.” Louis drags Zayn towards the bathtub. The natural light from the stained glass window of the room floods the cream colored walls with patches of different colors. “The tub’s too big for me to be in there, alone.” Louis stresses.

Finding no more reason to argue longer, Zayn nods and asks him to stay where he is and let him prepare his things. Louis leans against the door, his smile not leaving his face as he watches his butler, naked, preparing his bath for him.

“I want bubbles, Z.”

“Bubbles, it is.” Zayn turns the faucet that allows the bath to generate more bubbles than a normal bath could have.

“Oh, I want the scent of vanilla!” Louis exclaims as he presses his finger on the door’s lock before skipping his way to the tub that was big enough to be called a ‘pool’. Zayn turns to face a box full of bottles filled with different scents. He takes one and tilts the bottle into the water as it pours three drops.

The sound of the water rushing down the faucet was the only thing to be heard when both of them were finally immersed to the tub (I prefer to call it tub since it’s in the bathroom don’t mind me). Zayn sits on an elevated ceramic, so that Louis’s head was in between his legs as he massages his hair with shampoo while Louis hums something he has no idea what song it was.

Louis was known for being so mischievous and arrogant, for being such a troublemaker - but seeing him right now, Zayn believes his Majesty is just a kid wanting someone to notice him and treat him the way he wants to be treated.

“Your – I mean, Lou,” Zayn starts, “shouldn’t we stop doing this?”

Louis stops humming and slowly turns to face him. Zayn doesn’t know if it was just his imagination, but he can’t say if he saw Louis’s expression almost near to crying.

“Why? Aren’t you happy with what we’re doing?”

“It’s – it’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just that, you’re a Prince – and what if somebody sees us?” It wasn’t what Zayn was trying to point out, but he believes it could be a threat.

Louis chuckles instead. “No one will see us, Z. I’m careful, you are careful! And besides, if ever someone sees us and decided to take you away from me, I won’t let that person do that.” He firmly says. Zayn doesn’t know if he should be happy or sad about it, thinking that the Prince doesn’t know what consequence lies to him when they’re really caught doing this.

Louis moves closer to Zayn, his cheeks brushing to his thighs, “After all, you are my butler and as long as you are, you’ll follow my orders, is that clear?” Louis’s fingers press his hips apart as he nodded. He spreads Zayn’s legs apart and Zayn bites his lips, feeling Louis’s lips wraps around his cock again. The heat he felt just minutes ago was starting to build up around his body again.

Between the low sounds of water splashing and groans bouncing off the wall, Zayn remembers the warning of several people that he can’t get too attached with the Prince. His unpredictable side that made his previous butlers and assistants leave him – the side of him that never take things seriously, and before he cries out Louis’s name again, Zayn keeps in mind that this is something they should stop doing before he feels something more than a mere butler to a Prince, should be feeling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things in here are purely fictional: I invented the prince’s schedule and lifestyle, the things that will happen here (including celebrations, festivities, rules, etc.), people’s behavior, the palace is another part of my imagination and do remember, that this is set in the modern times, so don’t send me hate because of inaccuracy. Thank you! x

“Zayn, I told you to stop letting the Prince do that!” Harry scrunches his face, throwing in his arms in the air right after he heard Zayn’s story about what happen last time between the butler and the Prince.

Harry was the Head cook’s only son, and he got the privilege on working on the palace as a trainee for serving foods to the Royal family. He and Zayn became instant friends after they discovered that their age difference was only one year apart.

 

Zayn was older than Harry, but after the turn of events between him and Louis, he got himself an older brother inside the palace.

“Harry, please – lower down your voice, I know we’re alone but we have to be careful.” Zayn scans the kitchen room for the hundredth time, paranoid and scared that someone might overhear what they’re talking about and immediately report them to the King.

“You should be careful, Zayn.” Harry emphasizes, “The Prince is the only child of the King and Queen, if they learned that their most trusted butler gives sexual pleasure to their son – your surely be thrown in the deepest, darkest dungeon of London.” Zayn knows that Harry was overreacting about the last part, but it didn’t fail to send shivers all over his body.

Zayn was aware of the danger of his actions – but he knows he couldn’t just run away from it, especially that he knows he’s too weak to refuse from the Prince’s orders, and they’re slowly forming this special friendship, even though Zayn knows he must not. Zayn tried to convince Harry that Louis isn’t the person they think he is, but he wouldn’t believe him and he’ll just keep on warning him about how sly the Prince is.

“You have to stop thinking about what he wants, Zayn. It’s your life.” Harry says. “You were lucky to be given this job, don’t waste it just because of a simple game lead by the Prince.” He stands up and heads to the cupboards. Zayn watched him as Harry took out some of the baking materials and ingredients – every morning, when half of the workers are asleep, Harry practices to be good at baking so he could also serve food for the Royal family one day.

“I know,” Zayn mumbles, and repeated it again, “I know,” trying to make sure that next time, he won’t let his soft spot for Louis overrule him.

—-

Zayn left the kitchen after three of the workers entered and carrying out their duty.He walked into the hallways of the Palace, red carpet spread all over the floor, and the light coming out of the windows as high as the walls were enough to illuminate the whole place.

It was just a dream for Zayn before. He was just a boy delivering food around the town, passing by the palace everytime with his scooter and wondering what does it look and feel like to be inside such a grand place.

And then one day, the King and Queen, together with Louis, whom he only knew his name from the newspaper headlines telling about his adventurous and mischievous life, came parading outside the palace during one occasion – and Zayn took the chance to see them personally.

It was when the King and Queen passed by his position that he realized the guy beside him was holding a gun – and before he could point it to the King – he knocked it out of his hands.

After that, everything happened so fast, guards gathered outside his house, announcing his heroic act and got invited by the King himself inside – and in a span of a week, he was done delivering food and practiced wearing a suit and royalty manners and passed the standard of becoming the newly appointed butler of the Prince.

Harry was right – he can’t let this job slip away because of Louis’s childish wishes on him. He was a butler and he was expected by the whole Royal family, to act like one.

Well, except for one person.

—-

“Z! I was waiting for you, what took you so long to come here?” Louis scrambles and sat up straight, pouting as he watches Zayn puts down the tray for his breakfast on the small table beside the bed. “I told you I was waking up earlier than usual now so we could have time to chat before I do my duties.”

Zayn tries to hide away his smile. He doesn’t know what it is with Louis that even with his childish acts he still finds him quite adorable. He poured hot water in the cup and dipped in the bag of tea that Louis always prefers with his breakfast and carefully handed the cup and saucer to him.

“Your Majesty, you should be sleeping at exactly eight hours rather than waking up earlier and waiting for me.” Zayn walks away from the bed and pulled the cord for his curtains, letting the natural light peek in to the majestic room. “You have a busy schedule ahead of you, you don’t want to be caught sleeping in the middle of –“

“Ack!” Zayn turns to see what happened and his heart dropped when he saw Louis’s hand covering his mouth and appeared to be in such pain. He immediately took the cup away from his hands and sat in front of Louis.

“What happened? Did you burn your tongue?” Zayn held Louis’s wrists, but Louis struggled to remove it. “Let me see…”

Just as when Zayn removes Louis’s hand, the lad hooks his one arm around his neck and topples both of them in the mattress.

“Caught ya, Z!” Louis shouts and almost at the same time Zayn tried to stand up, he locked his ankles on Zayn’s back, stopping him from moving to his position. “Your face is all wobbled up the moment you come in here, what’s wrong?”

Zayn shuts his eyes, the distraction from Louis’s deep blue eyes looking straight at him kept him from struggling away from his hold on his body. “Nothing’s wrong – you have to let me go, you’re going to be late for your activities and you haven’t taken-“

Louis cuts him off as he lightly presses his lips just beside Zayn’s mouth. His eyes widen and he knows it shouldn’t have brought a fuzzy feeling on his head, but it did – and it really wasn’t helping him to control himself from doing anything drastic again.

“You’re thinking about a lot of things that you forgot my first rule upon entering my room.”

As if there was a light bulb above his head, Zayn remembered what Louis said after he sucked his cock and gave him certain rules even if Zayn was still flustered from what happened.

Zayn wasn’t able to hide away his smile this time. He supports his body with his elbow and leans in to kiss Louis on his forehead, “Good morning, Lou.” First rule: Give me a ‘good morning’ kiss. He didn’t specify where so Zayn went to the safest place, the forehead.

Louis’s face lighted up and he smiles so wide his eyes crinkles and the only thing Zayn could see was Louis and he forgets about everything: that he was just a butler, and this person in front of him was a prince.

“Good morning, Z.” Just as his whole defense came crashing down, Louis pulls Zayn and their bodies were pressed together, his arse rubbing against Zayn’s growing erection.

Zayn’s breathe hitches, unable to control the feeling that just went through his whole system as their bodies collided. They’re doing it again. And this time, they’re in a position where Zayn could go farther and do almost anything. 

“L-Lou…” Zayn tries to stand up, but Louis isn’t letting go. He kept pulling him down and slowly doing circles where he knows Zayn won’t be able to control himself later on. The smile on his face was enough to tell him that he knows Zayn just as much he knows Louis. “Can’t – We can’t,”

“What is it? I can’t quite hear you,” Louis bites his bottom lip, teasing and nudging Zayn to do something – do something he won’t be able to forget for the whole day, “Come on, Z…” Louis raises his head and blows this tiny stream of air on his ear and that was it.

Zayn’s fingers fumbled on the waistband of Louis’s silk pants, almost wanting to rip it out of his legs so he could show Louis what he really wanted to do to him but he won’t and he can’t. Louis’s cock springs and he watches as Louis’s face contorts as Zayn runs his finger on his cock.

“We don’t have much time for teasing, Z – come on, I want you inside me…” Louis begs, and if Zayn wasn’t on his right mind, he’d do it, he’ll fuck him senseless – he’ll pound into this royal bed and make Louis come one after another as he screams his name repeatedly until the whole palace knows what they are doing – unfortunately, he’s in the right state of mind and he won’t do it.

Zayn removes his coat, lifts the sleeves of his white shirt up to his elbow and he was about to coat his fingers with his own spit when Louis pulled his hand and sucks it for him. Louis runs his tongue in between his fingers, his obscene expression as he did riles Zayn even more – control yourself, Zayn, he’d constantly play it to his mind.

“Enough,” Zayn says and Louis let go of his back and spreads his legs in front of him – and Zayn gulps, seeing how Louis’s spot quivers and twitches just by pressing his index finger on it. Zayn slowly pushed one finger in, and Zayn fights back the lump on his throat wanting to curse and say all those dirty words because fucking hell, Louis was so tight and he was so hot.

“Oh fuck – another one,” Louis moans and his hands fumbled on his pillow, squeezing it as Zayn pulls out the first one and slowly thrusts back in with his two fingers, “GOD – yes, so good,” Louis arches his back just as Zayn starts to push in and out of his hole, curling and scissoring halfway to stretch Louis even more. “Inside me now, Z. Want to feel you – want to feel you inside me,”

God, how much he wanted to feel Louis with his cock inside him, but he’ll settle with this. He can’t go that far. Zayn pretends he didn’t hear Louis, so he inserts in another finger, pushing in as deep as he could get, watching Louis whimpers and begs beneath him, his cock leaking and looking so much in pain.

Louis was pushing in with Zayn’s thrusts, wanting to hit his prostate on each time Zayn pushed his fingers. He figured Zayn wouldn’t be fucking him so might as well get fucked by his fingers in a way it almost feels like Zayn’s cock did it for him.

Zayn pulls in and out faster, his fingers sliding easily on Louis’s rim now. He looks at his fingers as they come in and out of Louis’s and he was close to coming.

“Oh – oh, yeah, come on faster, faster,” Louis whimpers. His chest heaves and his feet buries onto the sheets as he comes all over his chest. “Oh, fuck –“

Zayn pulls his fingers out and leaves the bed when Louis turned him around and dropped ot his knees. “Lou,”

“Come on, Z. You can’t go out of my room looking like that,” Louis smirks, and Zayn knows what he wants him to do. “Do you want me to do it for you?” Louis reaches for the buckle of his belt but he stops him. Louis “You do it then,”

Zayn unfastens his belt, and didn’t care if his pants weren’t even completely pulled down as he took out his cock and guided it inside of Louis’s mouth taking only a few seconds for him to moan out and come inside of Louis’s mouth.

Louis smiles and tries to stand up but Zayn assists him and let him sit on the corner of his bed. Zayn wipes his lips and his cheeks as he ponders upon another failed attempt to stop what they’re doing.

He knows he’ll regret this one of these days and he wasn’t really sure what part scares him – the part wherein the man who trusted him will throw him away and could actually kill him if he learns what his son and his butler were doing, or the part where there’s a possibility that Harry might be right, and this was just a simple game for Louis.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things in here are purely fictional: I invented the prince’s schedule and lifestyle, the things that will happen here (including celebrations, festivities, rules, etc.), people’s behavior, the palace is another part of my imagination and do remember, that this is set in the modern times, so don’t send me hate because of inaccuracy. Thank you! x
> 
> Oops. It became longer than what I expected it to be. I wanted to keep a 2k+ words per chapter thing, but then I ended up going higher than that (fails as usual). Thank you for those who have been patient with my updates. Here you go.

If there was something Zayn loves and hates at the same time inside the palace, it would be the dining hall. He always considers himself lucky to have the privilege to stand in the presence of the King and Queen with their only son, Louis – and he loved watching and hearing the Royal family engages into normal conversations. What Zayn hated during these normal conversations was that he can’t help but to feel the tension between the three. Something he always failed to get used to, especially when it involves Louis and him.

 

“So, Mr. Grimshaw told me yesterday you didn’t do any of the assignments he gave you, Louis. Care to explain this?” The King puts his fork down, pushes the plate away from him and lifts his elbows as he studies his son’s reaction. The Queen took a small bite from her plate, and then eyes Zayn.

Zayn stiffens, and then looks straight ahead, anticipating for a respectful answer from Louis, which most of the time he fails to do.

“Why, of all people d’you have to hire him? He’s so arrogant and he thinks he’s the smartest person in the world.” Louis retorts. Zayn gulps. The answer wasn’t much of a surprise, still –Zayn was hoping he’d at least try to be a bit nicer. “And y’know how I hated tutors and teachers and all these people acting so scholarly and shit! Why can’t you just allow me to go to school?”

Zayn stops himself from shaking his head, although the King and Queen did it for him for the same reason – his Majesty curses again.

“Louis, son – I thought we’ve already discussed about how you’re not supposed to curse in here. Even outside the gates, not at all. Your father and I never cursed when we brought you up.” She furrows her eyebrows towards Louis’s seat in which Zayn was standing behind, unable to see any of his response.

“That’s the very reason why we will never allow you to go to school. Look at that attitude of yours. Do you think we’ll let our people hear what kind of person you are?” He spats.

“That’s the problem with you. All you care about is what the people think of – what about me? What about what I actually wanted?”

“It’s not just about what people think, Louis. We want to protect you, you are our only son. Why can’t you understand it? We want you to be protected as possible. And we know what kinds of kids are nowadays, they could influence you to do things.” The Queen starts to raise her voice.

“And did any of you, ever, ever experience going to school?” The King flinched. Zayn saw when the Queen opened her mouth, but then no words came out of it. “See? None of you did. And here you are, telling me how much dangerous the school is, how I’ll be influenced by the people out there wherein fact, you don’t know anything about it!” Louis slams his fist on the table, pushing his chair away. Zayn steps forward to assist him -

“LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON!You stay where you are!” The King roared. Zayn almost jumps in shock while Louis paused halfway and sits back again. “I will not tolerate this attitude of yours in front of your mother. Have you got no shame? You are the Prince and people are expecting you to act like one! Didn’t you hear what your mother said? We want to protect you, is it too hard for you to understand?”

“I don’t need protection! I want to live – outside this place! And besides, Zayn will take care of me if I go to school, right Z?” For what seem to be such a long time, Zayn and Louis’s eyes finally meet. Louis cocks his head as he waits for his answer. This is the part where Zayn badly wants to run away. They stared at each other a little longer, and when Zayn was about to say something cool like ‘whenever you need me, your Majesty’, the King interrupts him.

“Don’t expect everyone to follow you wherever you go, Louis. He might be trained to be both your butler and bodyguard, but it doesn’t mean you will drag him to your mischief, like what you did to your past servants.” Zayn’s eyes meets the King’s, sending chills down his spine. “I won’t let you have your way with putting people’s lives in danger again.” He firmly says.

“Oh, so everything’s my fault now? Is that what you always see? I told you it’s not my fault! I’m not the one who started the fire in banquet, it was an accident! Or are you talking about the horses? I was just playing with them, I didn’t know once you open one gate twenty will follow and most of all, I didn’t mean to knock the crown out of the Quee-“

“ENOUGH! I don’t want to hear any of your excuses, Louis! You were there when all of it happened. Nothing will change from your routine until you’ve learned your lesson.”

“But-“

“I said, enough.”

“Goddamit!” Louis slams his fist once again on the table and storms away from the room.

“Your Majesty…” Zayn mumbles as his eyes follow Louis leaving the room. Sighing, he bows to the two persons left in the table and walks his way towards the door.

“Zayn” He freezes halfway and then reluctantly turns back, seeing both the King and Queen looking straight at him. The beating of his heart paced up and he felt like the oxygen was being sucked out of him. He was just there, standing alone and being stared at for what seems to be like hours, wherein fact, a minute had just passed.

Finally, the King made the slightest movement of deeply breathing in. “I apologize for my son’s behavior, he’s just-” He pauses, biting in his bottom lip. “He’s been acting immature again.”

The King rubs his hand on his face as if wiping away all the frustrations he just received. Zayn looks over the Queen who was now holding her husband’s hand, whispering that ‘everything will be okay’ repeatedly.

The King looks back at him, now with gentler eyes and with a little hint of smile on his face. “Please be patient with my son, Zayn. You’re by far the only one who hasn’t showed any signs of giving up for at least a month now.” He says and the Queen was smiling as well.

Somehow, there was a pan of guilt running through his mind. He could even hear Harry’s voice reminding him about the King and Queen’s trust.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, your Majesty.” Zayn says, bowing. He could feel the rush of blood burning on his insides, his body refusing to believe what he just said. What if they knew he wasn’t as kind as they thought he would be?

“We know we could always count on you, Zayn.” The Queen softly says and then Zayn was leaving the hall, the image of them smiling kindly at him makes him want to pack his bags and run away as early as now. Now when things aren’t still as complicated as it is and when he knows he could still forget about everything that has happened between him and Louis.

But then the image of Louis’s smile, the sound of his voice and the feeling of Louis’s touch would play back and Zayn knew he was far from walking away as the Prince’s butler.

—-

“You’re late again,” Mr. Nick Grimshaw says, glaring at Louis as he opened the door. He points his long, wooden ruler towards Zayn. “And you – aren’t you supposed to get him here, on time, huh?”

“I’m so-“

“Don’t blame him.” Louis interrupts, pushing the ruler away from his face. “I just don’t want to go to this shitty class of yours.”

“You ungrateful person, you have no idea what you’re missing.” He squints back at Louis. “A lot of people out there wanted to be in the same educational state that you are, don’t you reali-“

“For God’s sake. Stop rambling nonsense, okay? You’re making it sound like I should care.” Louis turns back to Nick who was still on the door, obviously devastated from being interrupted. “Can we just get this over with so I could have some time alone?” He says, cocking an eyebrow.

Zayn was about to step inside the room as well when he suddenly felt a stinging pain on his chest. He looks down: it was Nick’s ruler.

“I have to come to decide you’re not joining inside, Mr. Malik. Louis is quite distracted when you’re around.” Nick’s eyes widened as he looks at him and if ever he was trying to send some kind of message, Zayn wasn’t getting it, or morel like he doesn’t want to. He admits Louis is a bit of a child when he’s around, but telling him he was a ‘distraction’ was a bit too much.

“What? Zayn is my butler – he is supposed to be with me, 24/7. You can’t ask him to leave! Let him in, you prick.”

Nick’s mouth drops open, looking back at him and Louis for like, three times. He then leans in closer to Zayn whispering, “If you want to be a good butler Mr. Malik, I suggest you leave this room. You do want your Prince to learn, right?”

Zayn turns his face away. Honestly, he didn’t like this person either. Zayn agrees with Louis when it comes to his attitude, and hearing him say these things on him makes Zayn wants to bury his fist on Nick’s face.

But he’s got a point. And clearly, Zayn doesn’t want to be too obvious being too close with Louis that it could raise some questions with what’s going on between them.

He looks back at Louis, his eyes begging him not to leave. If only Nick isn’t watching him closely, he could have moved his lips and apologized, so that Louis would know he’s doing this for his sake and he really wanted to stay by his side, anywhere.

Zayn took a step back. Nick grins, victory on his face as he slowly closes the door and Zayn wasn’t able to deny the heavy drop on his stomach as he saw Louis turns his back around him with a disappointed look on his face.

—-

Zayn attends to his other duties as he waits for Louis to finish his class. He was able to bring Louis’s dirty clothes on the Laundry room and bring in the new ones. He changed Louis’s duvet, and brought two new boxes of his favorite in case he’s attacked by his addiction during the middle of the nights. Zayn prepared his bath and even practiced saying to Louis, ‘I’ve prepared a bath for you so you could relax and forget everything,’ and he’ll quip in his name without hesitating. Zayn was sure it could make Louis smile.

He always wanted to see his Majesty smile.

—-

He arrives exactly by the time Nick steps out of the room. They exchanged looks, but neither of them said anything. Zayn bows in respect, something he hated doing when he clearly doesn’t want to respect a man like him. He looks back at room, waiting for Louis to go out. When he didn’t, Zayn swings the door open.

The crimson colored sky seeps right into the room, and then he saw Louis seated on one of the tables, facing the ceiling-high windows and his back on Zayn.

“Your Majesty…”

“What are you doing here?” Louis says, not moving an inch to look back at him. Zayn assumes he’s still angry at what he did. “Leave me alone.”

“I thought I’m supposed to be with you, 24/7.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said. But it’s not what you did.” Louis straightens up. Zayn walks closer to him but made sure he didn’t notice. “I can’t believe you did what that prick told you to do. I thought we both hated him. Turns out, you’re on his side.”

“I’m not on his side, you know that. I just – I didn’t want him to think of anything suspicious.”

Louis sighs, “You’re so paranoid all the time, Z. It’s not like when we’re together people would know that you almost fucked me.”

“I’m sorry. I really wanted to stay, you know.” Zayn took another step forward and he was now behind Louis. Louis turns his head to his side, looking at Zayn in the corner of his eyes. “I’m really sorry.”

Louis didn’t move or say anything. Zayn didn’t do anything either. They both watched as the sun goes down behind the buildings stretched out in front of them and the darkness of the night crawls to the city until it swallows the light from where they were standing.

Zayn could only see Louis’s silhouette, his tousled hair and his petite yet lean stature.

“Come here.” Louis says. And Zayn didn’t think twice walking around the table until he finally sees Louis. He can’t help but to admire Louis’s blue eyes, illuminating so brightly even if it’s so dark and the strong shadows on his cheekbones, emphasizing his face even more. Zayn steps closer until he was between Louis’s legs on the edge of the table.

“I’m not used seeing this lonely face of yours, Lou.”

Louis looks down, scrunching his nose to hide his smile and Zayn can’t help but to admire it. He wanted to keep this picture of Louis – the way he would smile because of him. “It’s your fault, Z.” Louis pouts. Zayn smiles a bit wider.

“I’ve prepared the bath for you. And there’s a new set of tea, I know you’d like it.”

Louis shakes his head. “That’s sweet. But I want something else.” Louis says, his hands playing on both ends of Zayn’s coat. Zayn would like to think this is not heading to what he’s thinking.

Louis fingers moved to his buttons, glancing at Zayn as he pops each one of them. Okay, so maybe he knows where this one’s heading.

“You said you’re not used to seeing me sad, right?” Louis asks, leaning closer as his lips hovers on Zayn’s right ear. “Then you have to make me happy, Z. You have to do what I want you to do…”

Zayn swallows hard. He shuts his eyes for a minute. He recalls Harry’s warning and the look on the King and Queen – their trust on him. He could refuse, but then it would mean seeing Louis’s disheartened expression and Zayn couldn’t fathom seeing it again.

He opens his eyes and Louis was already smiling, as if he already knew the answer. Well, maybe he did. Because the next thing he knew, their lips were crashing together. Eyes shut, his hands cupping Louis’s cheeks, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. Louis opens his mouth, letting Zayn’s tongue dominate him completely.

Louis locked his ankles behind his body, his hands running on Zayn’s hair and the other gripping tightly onto his arm. Zayn knows the moment he closed the gap between them, there was no point in controlling himself anymore. He pulls away with a groan while Louis gasps for air as Zayn undoes his buttons impatiently.

Their bare chests brushes back again and so were there lips. Zayn bites Louis’s bottom lip, down to his chin and as much as he wanted to suck every inch of Louis’s skin on his neck, he still got a bit of sanity with him that someone might see it, so he drops his head on Louis’s collarbone, biting and licking the skin over and over again.

Louis’s hands run to his back, scratching in each time he bites harder, escaping a sweet mewl from Louis’s mouth. He presses his body closer letting Zayn feel the hardness underneath the fabric.

“What do you want, Lou?” Zayn whispers on his ear as he lays Louis on the table, their chests heaving. “Tell me…”

“You – I want you.” His voice so low “Z, please – fuck me. Make me forget about all the shit that happened today.” Louis begs, arms pulling Zayn closer. “You’re the only one who could do that.”

Zayn nods – brushing away every train of thought that bothers him. Just this time, he’ll do what he and Louis wants.

He pulls away and unbuckles his belt, eyes not leaving Louis’s. The Prince mirrored the same thing, his delicate fingers fumbling on his pants. Zayn pulls Louis’s hips on the edge of the table, as he lifts his legs on his shoulders. He leans to kiss Louis until he says a desperate, ‘Please’.

Zayn spits on his hand, such a disgusting thing to do in front of the Prince, but he thinks he’ll dwell on it soon. He slicks his hard, throbbing cock – just seeing Louis all ready to be fucked riles him up so much.

Louis’s legs stiffen on his shoulders.

“Oh God –“ Louis breathes out, his hands dropping on both edge the table as Zayn slowly pushes in, muffling his moans when the heat of Louis’s muscles wraps his cock. He carefully watches Louis: his mouth open, eyes fluttering and incoherent sounds coming out from his lips. Zayn pulls Louis’s hips and then slams back in, overwhelmed by the feeling crawling all over his body.

“Shit. You’re so tight.” Zayn mutters, teeth clenching as he pushes slowly. When Louis begins to moan one after another, he takes it as a cue to go faster.

“Yeah there – Ah, ah – yes, God – harder” Louis arches his back, writhing with pleasure. “Yeah. Fuck – Zayn. Comeoncomeon-“

“Fuck. So. Good. So. Fucking. Good.” Zayn grunts on each thrust. Fingers digging on Louis’s hips. The silence of the room was now filled with the creaking of his desk, the obscene sounds escaping their mouths and the sound of their skins slapping.

“Harder, Zayn-” Louis pleads, throwing his head back to the table. Zayn paces up, slamming his cock deep into Louis’s - in and out, faster and harder. “Oh, oh –shit!” Louis screams as Zayn abruptly changes his angle, hitting those nerves that make Louis call out his name on each thrust.

Louis’s legs drop and locks on his back, pushing his arse into Zayn’s cock.

“Zayn!“ Louis cries out, spilling his release on their chests. Zayn rests his forehead on Louis’s shoulders, his hips snapping aggressively as Louis clenches around his cock, driving him over the edge. He bites down on Louis’s shoulder as he comes hard inside him. They stayed like that for a while, catching their breath.

Zayn falls into a state of mind where he knows things would drastically change from now on.

He looks up at Louis, who was smiling so wide he almost thought he said something funny while they were doing it.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Zayn asks as he pulls out gently. He offers his hand and Louis took it, helping him to sit up.

“I told you, you’re the only one who could make me forget everything.” Louis says and Zayn’s heart misses a bit when his face pulls this smile – this smile of Louis that’s so genuine and innocent, his eyes crinkles and Zayn knows why he couldn’t just walk away and leave everything, why he let himself forget about what everyone was saying about the Prince and even betraying the King and Queen’s trust on him.

It’s that smile of Louis that he knows he could always see as long as he is his Majesty’s butler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback would be pretty cool. x


	4. Chapter 4

“Yeah – shit, just like that – fuck –“ Zayn grunts, tilting his head as Louis’s ass moved on his cock. His hand scrapes along Louis’s thigh, hips snapping and squeezing his eyes shut. Louis moans louder, his hands tighten on the wooden finish of his headboard as he keeps on increasing his pace, pushing and pulling on Zayn’s length. His lips curved into a satisfied smile as he sees Zayn completely loses himself from what he was doing.

Zayn catches the blue orbs that glints in front of him. Louis slowly drops his mouth and let out moans after moans. The voice heightened the heat building up on the pit of his stomach. The sound of Louis’s moaning and begging always drives him off the edge, and the Prince, being the smart kid that he is, obviously knows about it.

“Oh fuck, Zayn – just – AH! – fuck me already,” Louis breathes out, each word registering clearly on Zayn’s mind, clouding the usual thoughts that runs through his head when they do this. “Please –“ Louis begs, grinding his ass on Zayn’s hips.

“Shitshitshit-“ Zayn mutters, his one hand leaving Louis’s hips and pressing on his back as he begin to move.

“AH- AH – yes, there, harder Zayn,” Louis says between gasps, shoving his ass against Zayn’s thrusts. Zayn leans down and bites down the skin just below the Prince’s nape as he thrusts harder and faster, the sound of Louis’s voice was so close he could clearly hear the vibrations on his chest. His hands completely left Louis’s body and lands on the same place where Louis’s hands were, firmly holding them as Zayn pushed harder.

“Fuck – close, Zayn, I’m going to-,” Zayn cuts Louis as he bites down the skin again, harder this time, and Louis’s walls tightened around his cock, screaming as he releases over the sheets. Zayn slips his arm on Louis’s stomach to keep him in place as he drives himself to his release, saying ‘Louis’ under his breath.

Zayn gently slips out and falls on his back, panting. Louis curls beside him, the kind of thing he always does whenever they were done and only when they were in bed, of course. Zayn brushes away the hair that sticks on Louis’s forehead as the latter rests his face on Zayn’s chest.

This has become their routine now. Everyday whenever they have the time to be alone, Louis would just pull him into a kiss and Zayn would fall into a spell and the next thing he knew, they were stripping, lip-locking and bodies colliding as if they were going to be pulled apart any second. The incident that happened on Louis’s study room was the reason for all these.

None of them discussed something afterwards. Zayn assumes it was a mutual understanding, that they both wanted this so why the fuck should they not do it? He wanted Louis to be happy and Zayn had proved him that even after the sex, nothing had changed, they were still friends. And even if sometimes, he feels something more than the pleasure of their actions, Zayn kept quiet about it.

Although the urge of asking Louis what exactly they were doing never left him.

—-

“You’re in danger, Zayn.”

“I know,” Zayn says, averting the deathly look Harry was throwing at him. “But we’re not going to get caught-“

“I’m not talking about you being caught, you idiot. I’m talking about this.” Harry pokes his chest, and Zayn stares at his finger for a while before he looks back at Harry with confusion.

“What’s with the poking?”

“Jesus, you’re not stupid Zayn. I’m talking about what comes after what you two are doing.”

Oh. Zayn blinks, his hand patting the part where Harry poked him. Oh.“It’s nothing, we’re just having sex, that’s all.”

“Just having sex? Do you hear yourself? That is not the mindset you have when you came here, Zayn. You were supposed to be a butler, not some kind of prostitute.” Harry says without hesitation. Zayn’s stomach turn in such a way he felt like throwing up – prostitute. Did Harry, his only friend, actually thinks of him like that?

“I just met you four months ago, and this –“ He emphasizes with his hands hovering at Zayn, “this is not the Zayn I’ve talked to. You were always determined to stop the Prince from what he was doing and stay as a butler. But you completely fell for it! Now you’re sounding like you’re enjoying every moment you had with him, even if you know it means nothing to him!”

Zayn grits his teeth. “And how do you even know, it means nothing to him? You’ve never even talked to him. All you know is the part of what the people around him tell you, you don’t know him.”

“I get your point. I know you know the prince more than anyone else, hell – maybe more than his parents. But Zayn- you’re having sex –“

“Lower down your voice,” Zayn hisses.

“Okay, you’re having sex, with the Prince and you’re telling me, ‘it’s just sex’ – are you saying you’re not feeling anything?”

Zayn gulps. He knows this question was going to haunt him soon, no – it has been haunting him ever since they started doing it. Feeling anything? Sure, he felt happy after the deed, he was happy to see Louis smiling and talking to him – that’s just normal right?

“And even if you say you’re not feeling anything as of the moment, how can you be so sure you’re not going to fall afterwards? You’re not that kind of person Zayn, I know, deep inside you – you wanted more – and once you feel that, you’re in big trouble.”

Harry didn’t wait for him to say anything. It was pretty obvious from the look on his face that he was out of words so he just left Zayn alone. Zayn falls back to his usual self – the one that thinks a lot and analyzed everything. He couldn’t even deny everything Harry had told him, especially the part where he wanted more.

—-

Even after what Harry told him, Zayn wasn’t able to stop what he and Louis were doing – it wasn’t that easy.

Zayn steps out of the bed and hurriedly puts in his clothes, his eyes glancing back to his wristwatch. He almost forgot that he was supposed to meet Louis’s visitor for today and not spend the free time with Louis.

“Where are you going?” Louis turns his body around, exposing his arse. “Aren’t you supposed to stay, Z?”

“Lou, Mr. Niall Horan will be arriving in a minute. I was ordered to meet him and guide him to your usual meeting place.” Zayn says, closing the last button of his coat. He skips to the nearest mirror and runs his fingers to his hair, brushing his hair up to a proper quiff. “And I have to make sure that your food is prepared.”

“Nah, they always got it prepared, it’s not like they’re busy with anything. Come on, Z. Get back here.” Louis puts, tapping the mattress repeatedly.

Zayn smiles at Louis through his reflection. “I’m sorry, but you promised me that after this, you are going to meet Mr. Niall.” Louis was never a big fan of socializing with other people, even with his closest friends so Zayn come up with an immature deal, of having sex in exchange of complying with his duty as a Prince. Louis didn’t hesitate on agreeing.

Louis sighs, “Fine, fine. I’ll go meet him.” But instead of standing up, Louis slowly pushes up his ass and moves his body as if he was trying to dance – or maybe he was.

“Lou, what are you doing?”

“Seducing you.” Louis says in a low voice, his one hand brushing on his thighs.

Zayn immediately closes his eyes, “I’m not falling for that, anymore. Now, please go and take a bath. I’m going back in here after five minutes.” Zayn starts to walk his way to the door.

“Five minutes? But that’s-“

“No but’s, if I come back in here and you’re still not ready, I won’t be serving you tea anymore.”

“I thought you were gonna say no sex for a week. Not serving me tea isn’t really much of a threat, Z.”

“Then so be it. Five minutes – or no sex for a week.” Zayn closes the door even before Louis could protest.

—-

“Did you two have sex before coming here?” The pale-skinned lad with bleached-blonde hair and an Irish accent asks quite frankly the moment Zayn opened the door to the living room. “I can smell the after sex scent, ya know.”

“Shut up, Niall.” Louis says, smacking Niall’s forehead and then ruffling his hair. “No one can smell sex, you idiot.”

“Ohoho, the Prince is guilty as charged.” Niall says and glances back at Zayn who just closed the door. They held their gaze for a while and Zayn felt uneasy by the way Niall had eyed him with a playful smirk forming on his lips. The first time he met Louis’s childhood friend was just two days after he was appointed as the official butler of Louis. He saw him and Louis walking on the palace grounds, laughing and Niall constantly pointing his finger towards his direction – but he never got the chance to ask Louis what they were talking about him.

“Oh shit, I forgot my chess set. I’ll just go get it.” Louis jumps out of the couch and before Zayn could offer Louis his help, the Prince was out of the room.

“Hey Zayn,”

“Yes sir?”

“Nah, no need to be too formal, we’re almost at the same age.”

“It’s against our rules. And besides, you’re the Prince’s friend-“

“The one you’re fucking?”

Zayn flinches, and he saw the way Niall’s eyes glint knowing he hit the spot.

“Oops, was that too blunt? Sorry.” He chuckles, but Zayn knows he wasn’t really sorry. Maybe he’s waiting for this time to come where he could finally say it. “But it’s kind of obvious, you know. Louis told me about it before. He was sure as hell you guys are going to do it. And the way you two just stand so close together, I know you’ve done it.”

Zayn’s heart stammers twice its beat. He feels the cold sweat on his palms and on the back f his neck. His mouth feels so dry that he couldn’t even get the strength to open it and deny everything. He wishes this silence could convince him to stop talking.

“Geez, Louis never really changed – he’s still good at seducing every human who steps into his room.” Niall laughs again, and the way it rings inside Zayn’s head makes his jaw clench. He was doing this on purpose. “I never really do this, but imma give ya an advice, Zayn.” He claps his hand and Zayn looks into his eyes.

“If you’re the kind of guy that cares about other people’s feelings, you know – the sentimental type, easily-attached kind of person, which I think you are, better know where you stand.”

“What do you mean?” Zayn asks, irritation reeking on his voice.

“Has no one ever told ya yet? Louis isn’t the kind of person that takes things seriously. He’s a 16 years-old person trapped inside a 21 years-old Prince – if you think you’re going to end the way every ‘friends with benefits’ ended, you’re wrong.”

“And why are you saying this to me?”

“’Cause I think you’re a good man, Zayn. Don’t let your feelings be crushed because of a simple game.” And right after he said it, Louis opens the door and comes inside the room both suspiciously looking at Zayn and Niall.

“I have a feeling you two were talking about me?” Louis puts the board to the table, eyeing Niall who shrugs in response.

Louis turns to Zayn, “Z?”

Zayn looks back at him, shakes his head with a smile on his face as he tries to ignore the lump of pain on his chest. 

Maybe they were right and the more he sticks with Louis, the more he loses himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I thought I’ll post the updates tomorrow, but I can’t let you wait for that long so here it is. Hopefully, I meet your expectations for this chapter, if not – I’m apologizing right now. Please leave your feedback, would deeply appreciate it. xx
> 
> As usual. I have no fucking BETA. So all mistakes will forever be on my grave.

Zayn crashes into his bed, his eyes glued on the velvet-colored ceiling lighted up by the moon outside his window. He closes his eyes, only to hear the faint sound of the trees rustling and the slow and steady beating of his heart.

He feels exhausted, not from work, but from the countless things that were running through his head from time to time. It was like he got a ticket for a Ferris wheel ride, but then the controls got broken and he ends up being on it for the whole day, spinning and seeing the same thing, over and over again.

Shuffling to the side of the bed fit for another person, his fingers taps the empty space, somehow imagining a small body all huddled up beside him, a nest of messy brunette hair sharing his pillow, and the familiar crinkle of that person’s eyes welcoming him every morning. And even if Zayn had to go, Louis would constantly pull him back, asking him to stay and using all his efforts to seduce and convince him not to go.

Zayn laughs at himself – wow, he really was losing it. What the fuck was he imagining? He slams his fist on the mattress and sat up, his elbows resting on his knees, hands wiping away every image of Louis on his mind. Can’t there be just a day when his mind would just be free from Louis William Tomlinson?

Harry was right. He was getting in trouble – or, he was already in trouble, it doesn’t make much difference now. Who was he kidding with the whole casual sex? He wasn’t that type of person. Niall was able to see right through him. He was the sentimental type, easily-attached kind of person, and obviously, Zayn doesn’t know when to fucking stop when his feelings were getting included.

It was too late for him to get out of this. The moment Louis did this to him (or Zayn did this to himself), he was in deep, deep shit.

Zayn shuffles out of his bed, the idea of sleeping leaving him completely. Walking towards his closet, he watches closely at his reflection on the mirror attached to it.

_“You’re not that kind of person Zayn, I know, deep inside you – you wanted more…”_

What does he want? Holding hands, kissing in public, going out and watching movies? He wasn’t in a High School Alternate Universe where he could just knock on Louis’s door and ask him out. He was a prince, for God’s sake.

_“…if you think you’re going to end the way every ‘friends with benefits’ ended, you’re wrong.”_

It’s the part where the couple end up falling in love with each other and seeing more than just sex – wow, how fucking promising. The prince was only seeing this as a game, a number of people had told him that already, but why was it too hard to believe? Why does he feel like they’re seeing Louis wrong and he’s not that kind of person?

Or was he the one seeing it all wrong?

His hands turn the knob of his closet, giving light to his neatly folded white long sleeves and hung black coats. Gloves neatly pressed and the coat of arms he always attach to the left side of his collar, proving he’s the official butler of the Tomlinsons. This was his job – a not ordinary job anyone could apply to. If he thinks of it, this was some sort of destiny or fate, or whatever shit it was.

This job was for him. He got to experience food way better than any five star suites, meeting other royal families, engage with them and be able to travel out of the country – all for free, and all he had to do was to protect, serve and be loyal to the family – especially to Louis. It used to be so easy.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door, immediately pulling Zayn out of his thoughts.

He quickly grabs his wristwatch, almost taken aback from the time: 2:45 AM. _Was there some kind of emergency?_

Without further thinking, he opens the door halfway, his jaw dropping from the pair of blue eyes looking back at him.

Of course, it had to be Louis.

\---

“Are you going to stare at me like that, or are you going to let me in?” Louis pokes his head, inside, but Zayn was still out of words, thinking this was some kind of hallucination. “Whoa, didn’t know that’s the only thing you wear when you’re alone, Z.”

“What?” Zayn follows where Louis’s eyes were looking, only to realize he was still on his white boxers. “Bloody hell! T-Turn away, Your Majesty!” But Louis didn’t, and he starts to laugh, the kind of laugh that made his eyes crinkle, and Zayn just wanted the whole room to eat him up alive from the embarrassment.

He turns around to grab a pair of pants, but a tug on his undershirt made him look back.

“Come on, Z. No need to be all shy in front of me,” He pulls him closer, his lips touching his earlobe, “You know I’ve seen more than the boxers, right?”

Zayn nods and then he grasps that Louis is just wearing a silk robe. “It’s still a shame. Let me put-“ His words disappear from the taste of Earl Grey tea on his mouth, his eyes stuck on the sight of Louis’s lashes on his cheeks. Almost automatically, their hands move, not even bumping as if they know where to place it – how come he’s noticing all of this right now?

Louis’s hand grab a hold of his nape, pulling him closer until his back shuts the door behind him. Zayn quickly pushes the lock on his door, his arm snaking on Louis’s waist as he hoists him up, the robe slipping out of the latter’s shoulders.

Ignoring the idea that someone might hear them, Zayn closes the gap of his body on Louis’s, exchanging their body heat and feeling Louis’s cock slide against his torso – _he came here without wearing anything underneath, is he trying to catch a cold or what?_

“Lou, you can’t be here…” Zayn says in between their hungry kiss, his tongue sliding on the roof of Louis’s mouth, “Someone might’ve seen you…”

“I told you, I’m careful. And I’m used to running around in the castle without being caught…”

“Without anything underneath your robe…”

He feels the ghost of smile on his lips, “Well, this is something I’ve never done before. It’s actually quite fun,” He surges back to Zayn’s lips, this time, it was his turn to slide his tongue in. “Didn’t know running around with only a thin sheet of fabric covering my goods was a bit exciting.”

“You could catch a cold.”

“Oh, you’d take care of it.” Louis locks his legs around Zayn’s waist, throwing his head back and exposing his glistening neck. Zayn takes the invitation and sucks the skin on his Adam’s apple, enjoying the sound of Louis’s breathe hitching and digging his nails on his scalp.

“Z, now…” Louis hisses.

“Now? As in here?”

“No, how about to my parent’s room?” He chuckles, “Of course, here. As in right where we’re standing, silly.”

“Oh, okay.” Zayn didn’t want to sound so disapproving of the idea, but he thought it would be much better if they’d do it in his bed, seeing it as the first time Louis came to his room. But it would make things worse for him later, knowing Louis would be there wherever he goes and making it hard for Zayn to think straight. “How’d you want to do it?”

“Take me from behind,” He says coolly, as if he’d been waiting for that question to be asked, “Always wanted to try that.” Louis smirks, licking his lips as he grinds his cock on his skin.

Zayn closes his eyes for a second, trying to erase the idea of asking Louis why he always wanted to try that – for how long? How many people attempted? How many did he reject?

“Z…”

“Right.” Zayn bites his chin as he gently slides him down off the wall. He drops his hands on Louis’s waist, his thumb pressing the pale skin on his thighs as he turns him around. Zayn’s groin ache at the sight: Louis braces himself against wall, bending his body with ease and exposing his pink, twitching hole as he says ‘Fuck me, Zayn’, almost breathlessly.

Zayn steps out of his boxers and removes his undershirt hastily. “Fuck. Did you touch yourself before you come in here?”

Louis nods, “Hell yeah. I was almost screaming your name as I touch myself, Z. I was almost anticipating you’ll feel it and you’ll check up on me, seeing me all spread out of my bed…”

Zayn lets out an inhuman noise. “Christ, that must be hot.”

“ _Of course it is_. You know I’ve been touching myself ever since you became my butler. I want you to fuck me while wearing your coat, I want to suck you off with your coat still on – spreading come all over that fine, black fabric – fuck, you’re so hot, Z.”

Zayn steps closer, his fingers brushing his thighs and trying to keep the other sounds he was about to make to himself. “Can you show me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Guess I do.” _Seriously?_ What was he doing? Zayn knows this would make things from worse to another word that’s far worse than the word, ‘worst’. This isn’t the time to think of Louis jacking with the image of him – but then Louis prods the tip of his finger in, and his train of thoughts jumped out of the railway.

 Zayn didn’t know where to position himself, so he stays there, his hand wrapped around his cock, stroking himself in each time Louis’s fingers starts to push inside of him – in and out. _In and out._

“Fuck. So, fucking hot, Lou…” Zayn whines, his thumb pressing along the tip of his dick, as Louis cries out, pressing tow of his fingers inside.

“Come on, Z. Give it to me, _please_ , fuck me _, fuck me now_!” Louis almost screams, and if Zayn wasn’t afraid someone might hear them, Zayn wouldn’t do anything. He wants to see how far Louis would be begging, his voice, his body and his fingers buried deep inside him – trying to get the same amount of pleasure he was receiving from Zayn.

But maybe it isn’t the time for that, ‘cause Louis was calling his name again, much louder from before. Louis turns to his side, looking at Zayn before he pulls his fingers out without much hesitation, wriggling his ass and almost whining from the slow pace of what’s happening.

Zayn puts his hand on Louis’s back, taking the prince by surprise.

“Cold…”

“Sorry, it’s kind of cold in here…” Zayn rubs his hand on his back, trying to get the same amount of heat Louis’s skin was emitting. His other hand holds the base of his cock as he slowly pushes in.

“Then you should – AH – you should come sleep next to me…”

 _Don’t joke like that,_ Zayn thinks. _Stop messing around and saying words you don’t mean._ Zayn presses further, groaning from the tightness around him.

“Okay, tell me when to-“

“Move.”

“Now?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Zayn.” Zayn smiles, knowing that Louis is the most impatient human being he ever met. “Zayn, come on, come on….”

So Zayn pulls out almost slowly, still not believing how Louis could still be bloody tight even after he touched himself twice (or who knows how many times) this day.

His head drops on Louis’s back as his hips snapped. The usual feeling that came along when they’re doing this was back: the fluttering on his heart, the uneven flips of his stomach, the words he wishes Louis would say – and he didn’t know if he wanted to stay or he wanted this to stop.

“Oh God – yes, there – fuck, harder, Zayn _– harder_.” Louis’s arms folded on the wall, giving him much hold from Zayn’s pounding behind him. It wasn’t much long until Louis was starting to meet his thrusts, pushing his ass back on Zayn’s dick as he hits his prostate.

Both of their bodies move on such a rhythmic movement, completely drowning from the pleasure of the sounds they were making, the slick feeling of their body sweats slipping on their skins and the emotions mixed with their actions.

Zayn bites the skin where his lips were pressed against, leaving Louis’s back arching with pleasure, whispering his name repeatedly in the air.

“So good. Zayn. I’m close. So. Fucking. Close.” He groans, continuing to fuck himself on Zayn’s cock. The butler laced his hand on Louis’s waist, grabbing his cock and pumping it in contrast of his thrusts until Louis screams his name, tightening around him and Zayn feeling the hot spill of his release on his palms.

“Louis!” Their screams turn into an exchange of muffled moans as Zayn empties himself, his thrusts dropping into lazy movements before he gently pulls out. Both of them drops on the floor. Their backs against the wall, panting and watching as the moon disappears from the pitch black darkness of the sky.

Zayn took Louis’s robe on the floor and assisted him as he wraps his body with it, his thumb wiping away the trickles of sweat on Louis’s forehead. They exchange sheepish smiles and even in the darkness of the room, Zayn knows Louis was looking at him as well.

For a moment, none of them uttered a single word. Their hands were knuckle to knuckle, but none of them made a move to hold somebody’s hands.

They were just there, staring at each other, the silence was comfortable, safe – but Zayn knows Louis had something in mind too, something he wanted to say as well. He liked to think this is the time where Louis hugs him or holds his hand or just outright says what he was feeling. Tell him he’s not alone with the feeling whenever they were doing this. Tell him this wasn’t him, playing around. Tell him that he shouldn’t listen to what Harry or Niall or anybody says – because for him, Louis was honest.

And Zayn would believe all of it. He wouldn’t even dare to ask. And if Louis didn’t have the courage to say it, he’ll be the one to start.

He’ll tell him he never thought of this as a mere, casual sex between a prince and a butler looking for an exchange of pleasure. Instead, this was the truth, behind all the pretentions; this was the only thing that could let them confess what their true feelings were.

Zayn was about to open his mouth when Louis starts to laugh, saying, “Geez, Zayn. You’re so serious, you look like a high school guy trying to confess to a person he likes.” And within that second, if Louis didn’t stand up, if he didn’t turn around, if he didn’t rush towards the door and bid his goodnight, maybe he could’ve heard it.

Maybe he could’ve heard that whisper of ‘Yes’ escapes between Zayn’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Louis’s P.O.V. on the next chapter! :) Feedback would be awesome. x


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the delay. x  
> Any mistakes are mine, and if you're kind enough to pinpoint some, it'd be great! :D

Running as fast as he could, Louis swiftly passes by from the closed doors on each side of the hallway, taking heavy steps without much care that he will be waking up everyone in the middle of the night and wondering who it could be. He takes two to three huge steps on the staircase until he reached his floor, ignoring the surprised ‘Your Majesty!’ the late night workers said when he passed by them with his robe almost falling off.

When he finally reached his door, he quickly steps in, shuts the door with his full force that it almost echoed inside the whole palace and then throws himself on his gigantic bed.

Louis tries to relax on the comfort of the mattress underneath him. He shuts his eyes, waiting for his breathe to go back to its steady rhythm but all he could see was the image of Zayn staring at him, even in the slightest hint of light on his eyes and his face all scrunched up, he could clearly see how he’s trying to say something or otherwise, wait for him to say something – and it only makes breathing harder for Louis.

Louis bites his bottom lip, turning on his back in hope that it would allow his body to calm down.

It didn’t.

Giving up, Louis drowns himself into the thought of what Zayn was trying to say back there. He looked so serious, as if he was going to say the most important thing in his life.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t be showing a paper of his diagnostics and saying, ‘Hey Lou, sorry – I don’t know how to say this but I think I got AIDS’. _Oh god. That was a bad joke,_ Louis thinks, slapping his forehead and completely dismissing the thought.

He turns to his side, this time, taking his thumb between his lips and nibbling on it thoroughly. Was it about his personal life? Family?

_It can’t be._

Louis had read everything about Zayn: he knows that he became an orphan when he was seven, after the death of his mum due to a car accident and his father, taking his life a year after her death. Zayn has no siblings and the only person who took care of him was his aunt – who decided to leave the country right after Zayn reached his legal age, which was quite rude and unfair, like she was waiting all her life to leave him. From that day onwards, Zayn survived all by himself.

 _How come he memorized all of these?_ Surely he wasn’t reading Zayn’s bio every night. It’s not like it’s interesting or anything, it’s just – it’s Zayn and he needs to know him better, right?

Then could it be something his father told him about him? Or could it be his mum asking Zayn to do things in behalf of them because they can’t _tame_ him, like prevent him on muttering curses or suddenly bolting out of the door without excusing himself? Did Nick told him something again? Louis can’t stop thinking – he wanted to know why such presence, such atmosphere made him run away.

Running away was definitely not his thing, especially in this situation.

It was always the other way around.

He isn’t the one who should be doing it – _never_. And yet, there he is, all curled up in his bed trying to think of a good reason why all of a sudden, his demeanor changed as if the whole thing suddenly went from fun to some serious business, just because of the way Zayn looked at him.

Louis sits up, burying his face on both hands as he shakes his head. _No, Louis. This isn’t how you planned this whole thing to happen._ This is supposed to bring him excitement, for him to crave for more – not make him think about what the other party was trying to tell him or make him feel.

And speaking of fun, Louis didn’t hesitate being generous with Zayn. He didn’t keep the fun to himself. He let him take control. He let him do what he wants.

And that’s a first from all the affairs Louis was involved into.

He likes Zayn – in an interesting way, not the way most teenagers described it. When his dad appointed him as his butler, all it took was a wink during the ceremonies and Louis knew immediately that he got Zayn.

And what makes Zayn more interesting was that he _tries_ to stop Louis. _Oh, innocent and pure, Zayn._

He can’t help but to smile whenever Zayn’s fingers trembles whenever he meets his eyes, when he licks his lips, when he moves his body and brush his skin over his. It was like hearing Zayn’s scream even without opening his mouth. It was so entertaining Louis could probably watch him all day.

And God – how Zayn _struggles_ to run away for him? It turns him on so much. How Zayn changes from a quiet and timid guy then to some possessive, ferocious beast that looks at him like he’s going to eat him up any second – not that Louis minds though. It make things more interesting for the prince.

He likes pulling people to his world and then leaving them hopeless, drowning, and begging to surface up but failing instead.

But slowly, he notices, he feels and he realizes that the more he spends his time with no one but Zayn, which is another first, it feels like he’s the one who’s drowning and slowly slipping out of his own world.

And Louis can’t let that happen.

\---

The next morning, Louis waits eagerly for Zayn to say something about last night. He said he’d drop it before he went to sleep, but the moment he woke up – Louis was determined he needs to hear it before he gets out of the bed. When he heard the door open, Louis pretends to have just woken up, with all the yawning and eye rubbing.

“Oh, you’re always on time, Z.” He purrs. God knows what kind of clock Zayn has – he never misses a minute, even with all the distractions. _Maybe I’m not distracting him enough,_ he thinks, biting the insides of his cheek.

“Good morning, Your Majesty.” Zayn greets, putting the tray down on his bedside table before pulling the curtains and flooding the room with the bright sunlight. “Today’s a good day.”

 _Today’s a good day?_ Well, this is something new, Louis thinks. Zayn never mentioned anything about the day no matter how many times he pulls that big red curtain – even if it’s raining, he won’t mention anything about London drowning or a bad weather for the whole day. The statement made Louis uneasy.

Or was he just over thinking things?

“Z-“

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty. But I have to leave immediately. I’ve been called for a meeting earlier this morning. I’ll be back after lunch. Please finish your breakfast and take a bath afterwards, someone will come here to assist you with your schedule.” Zayn says flatly, not even looking straight into Louis’s eyes.

Louis quickly sits up, “Wait!”

But Zayn was already at the door, his hands on the door knob as if he can’t wait to leave the room. He bows down, his right hand just above his left chest, “If you’ll excuse me.”

And then the door shuts.

Louis stares to the door, still not believing what just happened.

Did Zayn just completely ignore him? Louis feels the rush of blood behind his ears, crawling down to his neck that makes him clench his jaws so hard he heard the sound of his teeth gritting. He sighs heavily, breathes in and out from his nose – God, he’s so _fucking_ pissed right now he wanted to shoot someone right here, right now.

His fingers slowly drag the sheets on his palms until he was gripping on them tightly, badly wanting to rip them in strips. Never did someone dared to ignore him, let alone not listen to what he was going to say.

 _You can never be too busy for my attention, Z._ He knows he was acting like a pathetic child. It was like he was constantly shouting to his mum and dad that he wants that goddamn pink cotton candy and the two of them just acted as if he didn’t exist.

And Zayn did the same.

Still staring at the door as if Zayn was there, Louis’s lips curls up.

“You have no idea what you’re getting into, Zayn.”

\---

Louis spends most of the day thinking about how he’ll teach Zayn his lesson, completely ignoring the buzzing of the whole palace about someone’s arrival. Why are they acting like it’s something to be surprised about? Everyday, they invite guests, dukes and duchesses, royal families to dine with them, to discuss things – these people doesn’t really have anything to talk about, do they?

“Oh, Your Majesty, you seem to be _happy._ ” Louis stops from swinging his hands in the air from the familiar irritating voice that emerged in the hallway.

He turns around – and he was right – Nick was leaning against the door of the study hall, his annoying smirk makes Louis want to punch him in the face.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

He stands up, bowing but didn’t look down, his eyes still cast up on him. “I was called here for the meeting.”

 _The meeting? Is it the same meeting Zayn was talking about?_ “You? Invited on one of our meetings? Really…” Louis trails off, turning his head towards the ceiling-high window and catching instantly the figure of Zayn with his black butler outfit from head to toe walking in the middle of the field.

“Ah, the butler. He’s quite good of his job, isn’t he?”  Nick follows where his eyes were. “He’s enduring your childish acts, professionally.

Professionally. _Hell, if you only knew what kind of business we do, Nick_. Louis shakes his head. He looks down again, frowning as Zayn disappears in the field. “I wonder why I even bother wasting my time, talking to you.” Louis twists his body and starts to walk as if he wasn’t even engage to any conversation.

“You will have to learn more of your manners, _Your majesty.”_ Nick calls out, “Your fiancé would be very much disappointed, right?”

Louis almost trips on his foot. _What did he just say?_ He slowly turns back, trying to hide the shock on his face, but the bloke seems to be good at reading his expressions.

Nick leans back, crossing his arms on his chest. “Ah,” He cocks his head to his right, his smirk was gone and replaced by a wide, vindictive smile. “Looks like the butler of yours didn’t mention it yet…”

“W-what are you saying?” Louis hates himself for stuttering, but he can’t help it. He feels like someone was holding his throat, “What’s this meeting all about?”

“It’s a pleasure to be the one to tell you this, Your Majesty.”

“Cut the crap and just say it!” Louis screams, good thing no one was in the hallway. Not that he cared for it right now.

Nick was still smiling, completely unshaken. “I believe you’re going to be married, next month with Miss Eleanor Calder, your childhood friend and – oh look,” Nick snaps his head back outside, his mouth hung open as a blue car enters the gates. “I think she’s arrived.”

Louis swallows hard as he slowly moves his head to where Nick’s eyes were following.

The car stops in front of their main door, several people stepping out of the door and lining up. He looks closer and sees his mum and dad waiting, their faces crinkling from their wide smiles and then the door opens – revealing a brown-haired girl dressed in a simple black dress – Louis didn’t have to squint, that girl was definitely Eleanor.

The girl he used to tease about her big nose and large droopy eyes, a loser when it comes to chess or any sport they’ll play together and telling her that he will never marry someone who walks like man – and now – she looks different, in a good way. Her long, lean legs, her hair that fits her complexion, and the way she walks – it was as if she was floating. How long has it been since he last saw her?

He follows her until he she bows graciously to her mum and dad, hugging her without any hesitation. Just then, someone walks out of the door, with a bouquet of roses and Louis couldn’t believe his eyes.

It was Zayn.

Almost on cue – Louis hears his cold voice ring inside his head – _Today’s a good day._

“Good day, huh?” Louis whispers, almost losing the will to utter another word as he feels a burning ache on his chest and the seething anger flowing through his veins. “What the hell are you playing at, Malik?”

\---

Louis walks back to his room, frustrated and shocked about the number of things that happened all at the same time.

He was shocked about the whole engagement. His mum and dad never mentioned anything about it before and suddenly there’s a girl walking inside his house and that he was obliged to marry her? What era are they in, 18th century where the parents choose whom their children are to marry?

And then Zayn - his loyal butler, his only friend, the one whom he trusts out of the hundreds of people inside this palace – didn’t even bother telling him about this whole thing. Was it so hard to knock on his door for a moment and tell him, ‘Your Majesty, you’re going to get married so prepare to run away.” At least he wouldn’t look stupid in front of the person he despised the most.

“Your Majesty?” Louis’s shoulders stiffen from the familiar voice. It was unbelievable how steady he was breathing just a while ago and now, when he turns around and looks at Zayn, it feels like he’s in a confined, air-tight room. Louis bites his bottom lip, unable to explain how different the atmosphere was now that Zayn was here. _Fuck,_ he couldn’t even get the courage to look in his eyes for long.

“I’ve already prepared your clothes that you’ll be wearing tonight, at the dinner. The King and Queen request that you should be in the dining hall before Miss Eleanor comes in. I will be in your room five minutes before six, please be ready.” Zayn says, and Louis can see from his body movements that he was _dying_ to get away.

Gathering his thoughts and trying not to look so affected, Louis raises his chin and narrows his eyes on Zayn. “Why didn’t you tell me about Eleanor?”

“I was assigned on a lot of things.” He replies instantly, balling his fists on the side of his hips.

“Funny, because I think we’ve bumped at each other for more than ten times, Zayn. I don’t think it’d take you more than a minute to mention three words like, ‘Eleanor-Engagement-Now’, right? So what’s your deal?” Louis asks, impatience reeking inside him. Something was making him push Zayn to tell him what the hell was wrong, why are they acting like this.

In return, Zayn just stares at him. It was the kind of stare that he always does whenever Zayn fucks him, as if he was trying to say something and ends up biting his lips instead. Louis thinks it’s just him, muffling his moans and hiding his reactions so he wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of Louis but now, it’s becoming annoying.

And even if Louis tries to deny it, it makes his chest swell.

Finally, Zayn takes a deep breath, like his whole life depends on it. Then, all of a sudden, Zayn bows in front of him. “Z-zayn…”

“I am truly sorry, Your Majesty. It was wrong of me not to tell you about the engagement immediately. I will make sure I will not repeat the same thing twice.”

“What are you doing? Why the hell are you apologizing?!” Louis steps closer to Zayn and pushes him up, his hands gripping his shoulders tightly. “Why are you being like this?” Louis seethes. Their faces an inch closer now, he could feel the flare on his nose, the burn on his cheeks and still, it wasn’t enough. It bothers him to the very core why Zayn was acting so weird it feels like he’s not his butler at all.

Actually, what bothers him the most is the fact that he’s getting bothered by what Zayn was doing. He wasn’t supposed to care. He wasn’t to think about Zayn’s feelings or what he wanted to say or what he wanted to do.

This isn’t fun at all.

Before Zayn could say something, Louis grabs his wrist, as tightly as he could and pulls Zayn at the end of the hallway and pushes him inside his room.

“Lou…” The butler takes a step back and Louis can’t remember the last time he did that – for some time, Zayn was always eager to touch him, eager to press his lips on his – where the hell are those things now?

“Oh, so you call me, ‘Lou’ now, huh?” Louis leans against the door, locking it behind him as he flicks his buttons one by one. “Where did the whole ‘Your Majesty’ go?” When he was done, he hastily slips it to his shoulders, throwing it to his side and starts unbuckling his belt.

Still, Zayn didn’t move a muscle from where he was standing. He was just there, watching as Louis strips in front of him until he was left with nothing. Louis feels uncomfortable, but he didn’t let it show. He’ll have to show to Zayn who’s the one in control of things here.

“Lou, please. Get dressed.” Zayn takes two steps closer and bends down, reaching for his pants and that was it – he reached his boiling point. Louis slaps Zayn’s hand, releasing the material on from his fingers and quickly puts his hand behind his neck, pulling him close to a deep, rough kiss.

Zayn tries to push him away, his palms on his chest, but Louis has no plans of letting him go – not tonight, not after all the things Zayn made him feel.

Louis grabs a fistful of Zayn’s hair, slightly tugging to the side to give him a deeper access to his mouth, and it was all he needed to do to feel Zayn’s force on his body lightened until it became nothing but fingers digging on his back, returning the kiss.

“Louis…” Zayn tries, but Louis presses his lips again, not wanting to hear any of his pleads.

“Shut the fuck up, Zayn.” Louis bites his bottom lip as hard as he could until he tastes the blood on his mouth, Zayn yelps against him, but Louis didn’t care – no, he can’t. This is for his _fucking_ amusement, this means nothing.

Louis pushes him until Zayn’s back hit the wall, his head dropping to his neck and leaving bruises after bruises, pooping the buttons of Zayn’s coat and almost ripping his white shirt underneath him if Zayn didn’t do it for himself. When their bare skins touched, his anger mixes with the heightening pleasure raking all over Louis’s body. Every touch and every contact of their skins was like direct contact with fire.

“Louis…” Zayn mutters under his breath, his back arching when Louis’s palm presses against the shape of his cock, squeezing until Zayn’s head drops onto his shoulders. “Louis – we need to-“

“I said _shut the fuck_ up.” Louis grunts, biting down the skin where his lips were before he twists him around. “I don’t know why you’re acting like you don’t want this, but you won’t fool me. I know you.”

He sucks two of his fingers, pulling his hips to him and kicking Zayn’s feet apart. “Actually, I don’t care what you want right now. In the first place, it’s always been what I wanted. And I get what I want, so don’t go running away from me like I don’t know what you’re plotting. ”

Zayn hisses when he presses his fingers in, watching him writhes and yelps and twitches send the familiar ache on his groin. He pushes further, curling his fingers until Zayn says nothing but his name – Louis likes the sound of it, the desperate sound that Zayn wanted him.

Louis drops a hand on his back, pushing him down and lining himself up. “Tell me why you’re avoiding me.” _Tell me, Zayn,_ he begs and Louis promises that he’ll stop and that he won’t do anything further that might break his relationship with Zayn, _Just tell me what’s bothering you._ “What is it?”

Zayn shakes his head. Once, twice, then another as if he was convincing himself that he won’t say anything no matter what he do to him. “It’s nothing.”

“Liar.” Louis slicks his cock and without warning, presses himself hard on Zayn that they ended up both groaning and moaning from the pleasure slithering through their bodies. “How dare you lie to me.” He pushes deeper, ignoring the muffled scream of Zayn with his mouth on his arm. “Fuck-“

Louis reaches for Zayn’s shoulder and pulls him back, slowly thrusting in. “Fuck – you’re so tight.” But stopping was far behind Louis now. He was angry, annoyed and confused. All these sudden feelings bursting inside him all at once – and he needed an outlet.  

Louis increases his speed, the sound of their skins slapping was becoming more audible in each thrust and Louis feels triumphant when Zayn starts to push his ass to meet him. “Yeah, just like that.” He mumbles. Both of his hands grips on Zayn’s as they fall under a rhythm – this is what he wanted, _being wanted._ “Fuckfuckfuck.”

Zayn spasms underneath him, his legs trembling and his hips stopped from moving. Zayn didn’t have to say anything, Louis knows he was close. He snakes his hand on his waist and pumps his cock in contrast with his thrusts. The butler’s chest heaves uncontrollably, his breathing turning into nothing but desperate intake of air and no sound was coming out of him anymore.

With one more flick of his wrist,  Zayn tightly clenches around his cock and spilling his release on his hand, making Louis cry out and bringing him over the edge – coming hard inside Zayn.

When Louis pulls out, he was expecting Zayn to do what he usually does – picking up his clothes and dressing him up. But all Zayn did was to pick up his coat and pants, weakly moving his body and dressing up as if Louis wasn’t inside the room, as if they didn’t do anything and that moment – Louis realized, he did a grave mistake.

He tries to take one step, but he was suddenly filled with so much guilt that it scares him to touch Zayn, to see the look on his eyes when he turns around, what he’ll say to him. What was he really angry for? That Zayn was avoiding him? That he didn’t tell about Eleanor’s arrival and about the engagement? That this wasn’t being fun anymore?

Finally, Zayn turns to face him, looking him straight in the eyes, but Louis couldn’t even see the light reflecting from his them. Louis saw the trails of tears on his cheeks, his swelling lips. Zayn looks so broken, so lost.

And that look on his face made Louis realize something.

He wasn’t angry because of the sudden turn of events. It wasn’t because Zayn ignored him or avoided him or because he didn’t mention about Eleanor. It was because he couldn’t accept the reality that he, the Prince known for playing with people’s feelings, the one who never displayed any affection to those who serves him, was starting to care for someone.

And he wanted to receive the same feeling. “Zayn…”

Zayn shakes his head, a gentle smile forming on his lips. “I think it’s time for us to stop now.”

 _He was too late_. He was slipping away, drowning and the only person he expected to be there to raise him up was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Leave your thoughts on what you think of Louis's POV about the whole thing. :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the response on the previous chapter. Hope you’ll like this as well and there’ll be two chapters left, so hold on to your reading seats or something. Enjoy. :) x

_“_ Well, aren’t you going to say something like, ‘I told you so?”

Harry chuckles. “Mate, I may be an annoying prat when it comes to you and the Prince, but I won’t do that.” He rolls his long sleeves up to his elbow, dipping his hands into the bowl of flour. “And besides, I don’t think you need any more lecturing, like what they always say, what’s done is done.” He smiles cheerily as he spreads out the flour on the wooden board.

“Yeah, what’s done is done.” Zayn replies, trying to act as happy as possible. He watches Harry pound the dough, his arms flexing in each slam of his fist and his hair popping out of his short toque. Today, Harry was given the chance to bake something for the royal family and it’ll determine if he could make it and could start cooking with his father. Zayn didn’t want to bother him, but he has no choice as Harry was the only friend he has inside this palace.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?” Zayn cocks an eyebrow, seeing Harry mirroring his expression as well.

“Don’t look at me like you’re gonna say, ‘I wish I had listened to your advice, blah, blah, blah.” The curly rolls his eyes and then switching back to throwing the dough in the air and pounding it. “It’s not healthy.”

“But it’s true, if I only listened-“

“Then what?” Harry slams the dough a bit harder this time, his one hand pressed against it and his other hand on his waist. “If you listened to my advice, then you wouldn’t fall for him? Then none of this could’ve happened? Zayn, it’s not the way love works.”

“I don’t want to know how it works.” And Zayn was honest with that. He truly doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want to know why the only person he fell in love with was actually someone who had no idea what the hell love is. For Louis, it’s just a game, no strings attached, no feelings involved, just sex – and even though he knew it right from the very start, it still hurts.

“I know that when you came in here, there’s nothing else inside your mind aside from serving Louis or the Tomlinsons. It’s not your fault you couldn’t resist his charms, ‘cause let’s be honest, Louis, I mean, the Prince – is one hell of a guy. And it’s not your fault you cared for him, after all the things you’ve learned about his life and how he treats other people. It’s not your fault you let your feelings get in the way of your decisions, Zayn.” Harry says, looking directly into his eyes. “That’s what happens when you fall in love, the line between right and wrong is too thin.”

“Geez, what did the flour did to your brain? You suddenly became philosophical and shit.” Zayn teases, finally smiling naturally.

Harry laughs. “I spend my free time in the library. I try to read as much as I could, you dick. Don’t question the things I’ve learned…”

“Yeah, I-“

“And don’t deny what I said isn’t right.” Harry cuts him off, cocking his head a bit before he starts kneading the dough. “I bet you know it more than I do.”

Zayn leans back to the brick wall, sliding his body down until he was cross-legged on the floor. Harry was right. All the times he spent with Louis, there’s no question if what they’re doing was right or wrong, they just did what they feel like doing. And again, for Louis, it’s nothing but mere exchanges of pleasure, while for him, it was everything. The only time where he could be Zayn, not the butler, and Louis isn’t the Prince.

“Cheer up, Malik. Think positive. Now that it’s over between you and his Majesty, then you could be the normal butler you’ve always wanted to be. You don’t have to feel like you’re betraying the King and Queen, and you don’t have to worry about being caught or whatever.”

“I guess you’re right.” But those things were far behind Zayn’s mind right now. The guilt regarding the King and Queen was always there, piercing him with a knife whenever he sees their kind smile directed towards him and whenever they say something nice about him, it was like someone twists the knife, deeper, cutting him.

 Still, it was nothing compared to the pain he was feeling right at this very moment.

Last night, after what happened, the two of them acted as compete strangers when they were on their way to the dining hall. None of them uttered a single word. It was so unbearable walking side by side with the person who cut him deep with his actions and words. The way he addressed him while he was fucking him and the way he said those words that ‘he gets what he wants’ as if he was something Louis could own and throw away was enough to crush his heart, to feel his body breaks into pieces and to feel so humiliated and used.

And right after what he did, he wanted to hit Louis so bad. So bad that he’ll know how it feels like to love someone who only treated you as nothing but a mere amusement. So bad that he’ll know how it feels like to be left with no choice that Zayn had to give up his feelings for him so he could live a happy life with Eleanor.

But what made it more painful is that the reality that Zayn has no right to feel this way because right in the first place, they never established a relationship. There was nothing between them from the very beginning but a physical one, so shallow that anyone was expected to surface easily, to leave and to forget.

Yet, given all the things he felt and was still feeling, he stood beside Louis that night, assisted him and watched him and Eleanor exchange smiles, their fingers intertwined, talking about how long it has been, their childhood, the things Zayn never knew about Louis. And just like that, everything between them vanished. No more friendly gestures, no more exchanging of goodnights, or tucking Louis in, or running to the kitchen because he was craving for a midnight tea.

Zayn can’t help but wonder if even their friendship was just to remove the awkwardness that could arise after sex. Is everything in front of him, nothing but a mere illusion? That even if he was with Louis, he wasn’t really that person?

“Earth on Zayn.” Harry calls out, pulling him back to reality. “Man, where have you been?”

Zayn stands up, pulling his forced smile. “Somewhere I don’t want to be.”

“Look. I know I’m in no place to say this, but be glad it’s over. Just think of what happened as a test, and you passed. You can call yourself worthy as a butler now!” Harry laughs but Zayn can’t find the strength to do the same. He wasn’t really sure what part was he supposed to be happy and sad about – it feels like everything ended up tragic.

“Now, how ‘bout you help me cut some apples? I have a test to ace.”

\---

Standing in front of the 10-foot tall main door of the palace, Zayn keeps his chin up high as he watches the blue car swerve along the Palace’s courtyard. Even after all the things that had happened, he was still the butler of the Royal family, and there are duties he must fulfill.

The car opens, and there emerges, Miss Eleanor Calder, the only daughter and heiress of the Calders, famous for their clothing line business spread all over the world, their names known in the fashion industry and the highest of social classes. But this afternoon, she wasn’t in any glamorous dress or jewelries. Instead, she was wearing ordinary equestrienne attire.

But even with the simplicity of it, she was still stunning, Zayn thinks. Her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail, her cream-colored pants stood out because of her lean legs and she carries herself in a manner only princesses in movies could do.

Zayn bows when Eleanor caught his eye, “Miss Eleanor, his Majesty is waiting for you.”

“Please, just call me Eleanor.” She smiles sweetly, patting her hand on his shoulder. “Your name’s Zayn, right? It’s quite unique.”

“My father’s a Pakistan. This way please.” He answered simply, leading the way to their backyard.

She cocks her head and studies him as they walk, the smile staying on her lips. “That explains it. It’s a beautiful name.”

“Thank you.” Zayn bows his head slightly, acknowledging her compliment.

“I wasn’t able to have a look around of the palace yesterday – and I must say, nothing really changed.” She says cheerily, her head twisting to left to right. “I still remember Lou and I chase each other around here. I often got lost.”

Mentioning Louis’s name brought a pang on Zayn’s chest. It feels like it’s been so long since they last talked and saying his name was like trying to speak a word for the first time ever since he was born.

“So, how’s Louis as your master?” Eleanor chuckles, “Isn’t he bossy? ‘Cause that’s what he is with me, always ordering me around, telling me to get this, to get that – he was such a _diva._ ”

If only Zayn could ask her to stop. The least person he wanted to talk about now was Louis. “L-His Majesty doesn’t really order us around. Sometimes, he does things by himself.”

“That’s nice to know. I mean, I don’t want to be the wife who’s always been ordered around, right?” This time, she laughs a bit louder and Zayn bites the inside of his cheeks to do any reaction. The marriage was still a shock for him and when he learned about it, all he could think of was to avoid Louis. He doesn’t know what to do that time, how to look at him, how to tell him that he’s going to be with someone else – for the rest of his life.

“I don’t think the Prince will do that. He may be a bit mischievous and bossy, but I do believe he won’ do something like that.” Zayn says coolly, trying not to sound defensive.

“Of course, of course. I’m sorry I addressed him like that. It seems to me that you two are close? He’s never stayed with a butler for so long. You must be special.”

 _Special_. If only Zayn could hear that come from Louis. Even if a lot of things changed for the past 24 hours, he still hopes there are things that could stay or be at least, real, even if it’s just their friendship.

Zayn and Eleanor steps out of the door, their eyes squinting for a moment as the crimson sun welcome them, flooding the field with different shades of red and orange. Across the field, Louis was already riding his horse, galloping its way towards them.

Zayn’s heart skips a beat. Suddenly, everything feels weird and awkward now.

The white horse with patches of gray dots on its skin stops several feet away from them, Zayn can’t help but to look up. Louis was still Louis. Nothing changed in his demeanor. He was still wearing that playful smirk on his face as if he was always plotting for something, and somehow, Zayn wishes he could do the same, to wipe his head clean and forget about everything.

“Your horse will arrive here in a minute. You sure you know how to ride it?” Louis asks Eleanor, cocking an eyebrow.

“Are you challenging me Mr. Tomlinson?”

“I guess, I am.” Louis shifts his body and turns the horse around. “If I win, the wedding’s off.”

Zayn flinches, throwing a surprised look at him. _How could he say such things?_

“Yeah, right. As if that would happen.” Eleanor crosses her arms. “If I win, I’ll have your butler for the day.”

“NO!” Louis raises his voice, his brows almost meeting and eyes glaring down towards Eleanor. The whole atmosphere between the three of them suddenly changed. Leaning back, Louis confusingly looks at Zayn for a second then to Eleanor. “ I – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout.”

Eleanor, obviously shaken from what happened, takes a step back and laughs. “Iwas just joking. Of course I know how special Zayn is as your butler. Don’t worry, I won’t steal him away – _oh look!_ Georgia, my favorite horse!” As quickly as the atmosphere changed, everything was back to normal, as if nothing happened.

Louis gets off of his horse and walks Eleanor towards the brown stallion, Georgia.

 _Why?_ He can’t help but to think why Louis reacted that way. It was obviously just a joke. But the way he declined and the way he looked at him momentarily, it was Like Louis was taking it seriously. Zayn doesn’t want to get his hopes up, that maybe, Louis still cares a bit for him and as a friend, and he didn’t want to leave him.

Looking at the two of them, now both galloping across the field, laughing and taunting each other, Zayn drops all the hope he had. He was obviously trying to find a way to feel better by thinking Louis really did care for him, even though he really didn’t. What was he hopeful for, anyway? That Louis would call the marriage off when he realizes he has feelings for Zayn?

This is pathetic. He has definitely come to the point where he was getting delusional. Even if Eleanor didn’t arrive, even if there’s no marriage – there’s no way they could be together. He just can’t accept it.

Him and Louis, it was impossible. It was right there from the very start and he was too caught up he wasn’t able to see it.

\---

Zayn was pouring hot water to the tea cups when Louis arrives at the table set in the middle of the garden. Zayn tries to concentrate as much as he could by arranging the trinkets on their plates, but the louder the sound of the hoofs get, the more he was becoming anxious. _Why isn’t he with Eleanor?_

Louis ties his horse to nearby tree, his eyes following Eleanor who was on their way towards them as well.

“Something’s wrong,” Louis mutters. Zayn wasn’t so sure if he was talking to him or to himself, so he ignored it. His uncertainty was answered when Louis grabs his arm and pulls him close to him, pointing to the direction where Eleanor was, “Georgia’s losing control! We’ve got to stop her before she throws Eleanor in the air!”

“I’ll try to stop Georgia, go to her side if ever she falls so you could catch him,” Zayn orders, loosening his ties and then both of them running towards the field.

Georgia was neighing hysterically, as if someone was riding her that she didn’t like. Eleanor was screaming, holding nothing but Georgia’s hair now, in hopes that she wouldn’t fall off.

“Eleanor! When I say jump, you jump to Louis, alright?” Zayn stands in front of Georgia, trying to calm her and get the rope that was tangled on her neck.

“Zayn! Be careful!” Louis shouts beside him, his arms in the air, ready to catch Eleanor, but his eyes were on his.

Zayn ignores the fluttering on his stomach, obviously not the time to be feeling like this. Finally, when Georgia raises her body, standing on her foot, Zayn gives the signal and Eleanor jumps out of her back, falling safely on Louis’s arm. Just before Georgia goes down, Zayn swings his hand on the rope and pulls her away from the two.

But Georgia still didn’t calm down; she keeps on kicking her legs, twisting her head and even pulling Zayn closer to her. Zayn pulls and so does the horse, he pulls harder, but then Georgia seems like she was getting tired of this tug-of-war with a human so she pulls him with her full force, making Zayn let go of her rope and stumbling in front of her.

Zayn lifts his head, only to see her silhouette in front of him, standing again on her two feet and was ready to crush his skull when suddenly, Louis runs in front of him and before Zayn could call his name, Louis flies above him and falls with a loud thud.

\---

“I’m so sorry, Lou. I’m so sorry…” Eleanor hugs Louis tightly, her lips pressed on his forehead, mumbling the same words over and over again.

“El, come on. It’s just a few scratches here and there. No need to worry.” Louis leans in and kisses her in the cheek, his hand on her waist, while his other hand was brushing away the tears on her cheeks. Zayn can’t help but to look away. “I’ll be fine. It’s getting late. You should go now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, Eleanor kisses him in the forehead for the hundredth time and bids her goodbye, also apologizing to Zayn for what happened. When she left, Zayn finds no reason to stay as well, seeing his fault over his Majesty’s current state.

“Zayn.”

Zayn turns around, his hands trembling. “Yes, Your Majesty?”

Louis says nothing. Instead, he pats the space on his bed.

Zayn gives him a questioning look before he walks closer, his heart pumping furiously inside of him and he feels the cold sweat trickling on his nape. He sits beside him, his back brushing on Louis’s thigh while Louis’s back was leaning against the headboard.

None of the uttered anything, just like how it was the night before.

When Zayn lowers his head, he sees the wound up close, scratches on his hands, _Louis’s delicate hands_ , a big cut on his forehead, on his lips and bruises on both arms.

“It’s nothing.” Louis whispers, his fingers sliding against the scratches. “Don’t worry.”

“How could say it’s nothing? You were literally flying above me when Georgia hit you, you could’ve been hit by something, your head. You could’ve had a concussion or something. A horse kicked you right in your chest, Lou. It could’ve killed you – you have no-“

In the blink of an eye, Louis’s lips were on his, cutting off his words. “But I’m not dead, Z. I’m alright. And besides, I couldn’t allow it if anything happened to you,” Louis says, his face turning red even with the low light they had from the night sky. “I can’t let that happen.”

Zayn swallows hard. “I’m the butler, your bodyguard. I’m the one who should protect you, not the other way around.” Louis had no idea how dead worried he was when Louis was in his arms, unconscious from the hard blow of the horse on his chest. “I’m the one who couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt.”

Zayn reaches for his hand, an electrifying shiver runs down from the tip of his fingers to his whole body. It was like touching Louis for the first time, afraid he might break him, or hurt him or do something he might not like.

When his lips touched the wounds, Louis’s hand trembles, but he didn’t pull away. And one by one, Zayn kisses each wound, each scratch – _I love you, Lou._ His head chants on each peck. He wishes he could say it out loud so Louis will have an idea how it hurts him to do something like this, to stay in this situation, with him.

This time, Zayn seals his lips towards Louis, kissing him until there was no room for them to breathe. He kisses him, deeper and deeper until Louis falls back to the mattress, pinning him down.

“Zayn…” Louis whispers, his hands opening the buttons of his coat, sliding it down his shoulders. Zayn removes his undershirt, pressing his body against Louis as he slides his hands under his shirt.

“No, you don’t have to say anything…” _Let me treasure this, Lou._ Just this once, Zayn wishes, just this once, let this be a different one from all the times they considered fucking. If this is nothing for him, he doesn’t have to say it. _Just this night, please pretend you feel the same way too._

Louis lifts his body a bit, allowing Zayn to remove the material above his shoulders. Louis pulls him back, their lips meeting yet again. He brings his body closer until their chests brush against each other, sending a prickly heat on Zayn. Louis moans when Zayn pulls his lips away, now pressing on his forehead, to where Eleanor’s lips once were.

“Mine…” He whispers, and Louis keens in response, his fingers gripping his waist tightly. He moves down, kissing his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, his jaw, down to his neck, collarbone to his chest. Zayn blows a tiny stream of air on Louis’ abdomen, making the older arch his back his hand falling to the sheets.

Zayn removes his pants, the same time Louis removes his. It was quiet, and everything they did was slow and easy, taking all the time they had. Probably because Zayn thinks this will be the last time they’ll do this.

He slicks his finger on Louis’s mouth, his eyes never leaving Louis’s, even with the smallest of actions, he sees them dilate, widen and close – little things that Zayn never mentioned to Louis that he almost memorized. Louis takes a sharp intake of air when he prods tow fingers in his shoulder perched on top of Louis, while Louis hugs him closer, pushing his ass down.

Zayn moves his fingers, curling them a bit, and closely watching Louis’s reactions. The lad underneath him writhes, moans, gasps, his voice croaks, his name not making out of Louis’s throat. He feels his heavy breathing under him, the way Louis pushes him closer so he’ll get friction from the touch.

Zayn slips another finger, and this time, Louis’s grip on him tightened, leaving scratch marks on his skin, he starts to twist his body, his hips shaking on his sides and his eyes fluttering close.

“Open them,” Zayn orders, nudging his head on Louis’s forehead, and in an instant Louis battles for his vision. “I want you to remember this.” There was a moment of confusion on Louis’s eyes, but Zayn didn’t say anything further. If there was a punishment he would give to Louis, this is it.

He wants Louis to remember him, no matter what. That even after this, even when he leaves and even when he finds someone better, he’ll see nothing but him. He’ll be etched on his mind, he’ll think about him all the time, just like how Zayn always will.

“Zayn, _please…”_ Louis pleads, bting his chin hard. “You have to-“

“Yes…” Zayn nods, slipping his fingers out. Louis quickly wraps his legs around his waist, repeating his pleads. Zayn slicks himself and slowly, he presses his cock, deeper until Louis’s slick body exchanges with his body’s sweat. It’s hot, but it’s good – the kind of heat that was only good if it was exchanged with someone.

Zayn starts to move, sliding in and out, as patiently as he could to make it last. But Louis was starting to push together with his thrusts, and it was becoming too much to bear that Zayn paces up, hips snapping, pushing and pulling until their breathing turns into nothing but ragged, and desperate need for air.

 “Zayn…I’m close. I’m close…” Louis pulls his body closer to him, almost as if Zayn was carrying him so Zayn holds him, his arm around his waist and one hand to push him down until Louis comes, screaming his name. The heat around his cock intensified, biting the skin between his collar bone and neck, Zayn huddles him close and comes.

Zayn kisses him again, pulling away when Louis’s arms lock him. “Stay.”

He smiles under the curve of Louis’s lips. “Thank you.”

\---

Zayn leans in and kisses Louis’s forehead, pulling the duvet to his chest. “Goodnight, Lou.” He brushes his fingers on Louis’s cheek, before kissing him lightly on his lips.

Zayn takes a look around the room. So this is what leaving feels like. You try to remember every bit, every piece and every moment you could bring once you’re gone.

He reaches for the door knob and with one final look at him, Zayn whispers in the air, “I love you.” _But I can’t stay. I can’t stay with you like this. I have to go. And I’m sorry._

When the door finally closes, Zayn feels like his world just crumbles in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thoughts? x


	8. Chapter 8

_“I love you.”_

It was so faint yet Louis hears it clearly that it went right through his chest like a shard of glass that slowly inches its way towards his heart, sending a torturous pain throughout his whole system.

 _What have he done?_ Louis blinks back his tears. His not clearly sure why he’s crying, but he knows it’s because something about those words that Zayn said to him made him realize a lot of things. Things he didn’t want to admit before, but were all surfacing one by one, filling his heart with so much pain.

So much aching that Louis’s body curls into a ball. Both of his hands holding the fabric against his chest, desperately begging for it stop hurting, to stop hearing Zayn’s voice, to stop thinking about how much of a horrible person he was. Of how he didn’t realize that all the times he’s been thinking that this was all just a game, Zayn was feeling the opposite of it.

And each time Louis plays it, a part of Zayn’s heart breaks.

He had seen that face of Zayn once and it was something he regretted most. He saw how those eyes looked at him like Zayn was begging him to take back all the things he said, to tell him that for him, this isn’t a game and it means to him as much as how it means for Zayn. But he remained silent, something Louis knew he shouldn’t have done because the moment Zayn told him that they should stop, it was worse than being kicked by a horse.

_How come he only realized it when things turn into this?_

Louis always loves the attention given to him by Zayn, more than the attention he was craving from his parents. He loves how he dedicates his time to him, that even though Louis requests him the most stupid things, Zayn never argues about it and just complies, knowing that it’ll make him happy. He loves it when Zayn’s the first person he sees in the morning and the last one he sees before he sleeps. He loves how Zayn doesn’t just _fuck_ him – that there’s always something between those harsh snaps of his hips or his cursing that Louis knows Zayn is still treating him with delicate care.

And now, he feels so stupid being overshadowed by all the things he thought of doing before. Of how much he wanted to play with people’s feelings, of how much he wanted to see them get into his world and desperately get out of it that he became so blind when it comes to how they truly feels. Of what Zayn truly feels for him.

Since when did Zayn felt that way towards him? On the ceremony? When he went down on his knees and sucks him off? When they both properly kissed? When Zayn started to fuck him? What part of it was too much? What part of his whole game did Zayn wasn’t able to see that he started loving him? And what part of it did start to hurt?

 _No. I can still do this.  I can still make things right._ Louis ponders, jumping out of his bed, wrapping the robe around him and then storms out of his room. He’s still not sure what to say when he sees Zayn, but Louis knows he must do something or else it’ll be too late for both of them. He knows an apology isn’t enough for everything that he had done, but it’s a start. Zayn will understand. He’ll listen. He’s not a bad guy, _unlike him_. Louis was 100% sure there’ll be no banging of the door on his face tonight.

He finally gets to the hallway of the servants’ quarters. It reminds him of the last time he was in here – that time where Zayn looked at him like he was about to tell him something. Maybe it was one of Zayn’s attempts to tell him what he was feeling towards him. Somehow, Lousi regrets being scared and running away and then a lot of things shouldn’t have happened.

Louis stills in front of the door, hands shaking on his sides. _You could do this, Louis._ It doesn’t matter if Zayn’s still angry at him or he doesn’t want to talk, if he has to say every word through his door or slip a paper through it, then let it be. He won’t sleep until they fix everything and say what they want to say to each other.

He lifts his hand and attempts to knock –

“Y-Your majesty?” A female voice with a very high tone stops his hand in the air. Louis takes a step back and turns around, recognizing the woman in her nighties and with her pink hair cap on as Merinda, the one who manages the laundry for the whole palace. Their eyes meet and Merinda, even with the difficulty of bowing, did it hastily and still, with grace.

Louis acknowledges her by coughing, then smiling faintly when their eyes meet yet again. Merinda straightens up with some difficulty, Louis notices but wasn’t really in the mood to help her as his mind was currently filled with nothing but _ZaynZaynZayn_. He needs to see him badly.

“Uhm, is there anything you need?” Louis starts, seeing the way Merinda eyes him tells him that there’s no way she’ll be leaving any time soon.

“Oh no, of course. I was just wondering what you’re doing in the middle of the night, standing in front of Zayn’s room, Your Majesty.” She adds the ‘Your Majesty’ with high-pitched voice, adding to Louis’s annoyance from her question. _Isn’t it obvious that I wanted to see my butler?_

“Uhm, I need to ask Zayn about something.” Louis says, head turning towards the door wishing it was enough indication that he needs to be left alone.

“My, should be really important, running all the way here, Your Majesty.” Merinda did it again and Louis badly wants to hit her with his elbow just to shut her up. _Of fucking course, it’s important. Does she really have to state every obvious thing?_

“Look, Merinda-“

“But Zayn already left.” She cuts off, almost losing all that graceful tone she had earlier.

“W-what do you mean he already left? He was just with me an hour ago.”

“And he left an hour ago, Your Majesty. I asked him where he’s going and he said it’s an emergency. He looks really – pale and worried though. That kid must be sick.” Her words became more like she was talking to herself and Louis feels like he was sinking down from where he stands.

Of all the things Zayn has to do, why does he have to leave now? Louis looks back at the door, his heart pumping so hard in his chest. He has a bad feeling about this. Something about Zayn leaving all of a sudden isn’t right. He tries not to think about it – Zayn won’t just leave him because of what happened before. He can’t. He won’t allow him to.

“Your Majesty? Are you – are you alright?” Merinda lifts her hand and touches Louis’s shoulder, much to Louis’s disdain that he flinches and backs out a few steps away. “I – I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s – it’s alright. I was just – did he say anything about when he’s coming back?” Louis asks, not really caring if he sounds a bit too worried for his butler.

Merinda nods and shakes her head at the same time. Louis thinks she’s the sick one and she needs to have a brain check-up because her brain might be filled with soap and detergent. She coughs, twirls the loose hair that slipped from her hair cap and then looks up. (Just watching Merinda move tires Louis, a lot.) Finally, she opens her mouth.

“I was really sleepy when I saw him so I only caught a few words. He was saying about butler, three days, be back soon. And then he kissed me in the forehead, sweet lad that boy is, and then he left.”

“Three days? What will he do in three days? He should’ve told me-“ He stops himself, realizing that the past few days haven’t been very good between them and there’s no way Zayn would mention it out of nowhere. Yet, Louis feels a bit disappointed by how much distance he has now with Zayn. He’s still his butler and it was his duty to report things on him – even though there’s a huge possibility that Zayn really hates him now.

“Ah. Don’t worry, Your Majesty. I’m very sure he’ll be back as soon as he can. In the meantime, why don’t you prepare for your-“

“Don’t.” Louis snaps and Merinda almost loses her balance when Louis glares at her. “Mention that wedding one more time and you’ll be packing your bags.” Louis warns as he walks away from the door, his shoulders brushing to what he believes as Merinda’s trembling shoulders.

Louis strides back to his room, feeling heavy and more disappointed. He can’t believe Zayn wasn’t in his room and all those words that he’s been planning to tell him will have to wait after three days. He grips on the handrail of the staircase and pausing on one step. He knows a lot of things could happen within three days. Zayn might’ve hated him more than he hates him now and it’ll make things a lot harder for Louis to confront him. What if he resigned?

 _No._ Louis dismisses the thought immediately. He can’t do that. _Zayn will never do that._ He’ll never leave his side. He promised he’ll be with him 24/7 and Zayn – Zayn never breaks his promise. Louis sits to where he stands. He’ll just Have to trust Zayn. He’ll wait for him and when he comes back, there’s no way Louis will let him go, ever again.

 ---

Louis sits on the couch in the middle of his library, randomly scanning his books without really giving much thought to it. He doesn’t understand what he was looking at or what his eyes were reading – he just needs to do something to make the time go faster.

It’s the second day and it’s still the same as he had experienced yesterday. Everything seems to be in slow motion, everything’s dragging and the sun seemed to enjoy bathing itself in the sky, so long that Louis decided to sleep early just to end the day.

And now he’s here, hidden by stacks of books of whatever content it has and he just flips through the pages, wishing one book was equals to 3 hours or more, and when he leaves this place, it’ll be the next day and he’ll get to see Zayn again. He glances on his wristwatch and frowns as it reads: 5:45 PM.

“Fuck.” Louis rolls his eyes, pushing away the big book in front of him and buries his head on his elbows, growling and making inhuman sounds. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“Wow. Please tell me I’m not reading.” A familiar voice came out of nowhere and Louis quickly straightens himself up, twisting his back and meets the eye of Eleanor, standing against one of the book shelves, her hair pulled up into a bun and she’s wearing a cream, floral dress that flows above her knees. “History of the United Kingdom? The Ancestral Stories of the Royalties? And what’s this?” She lifts up another book, “The Collection of William Shakespeare’s Tragedies, Book 1. Are you sick?”

“Shut up.” Louis groans, bringing his head back to his elbows. He forgot about meeting El today, talking about their motif for their wedding or something like that. Honestly, he doesn’t want to see her, or talk about anything that relates to their stupid shotgun wedding, which reminds him that he still wasn’t able to talk to his parents about this. He’s going to have a fit, they won’t be prepared with that.

Eleanor doesn’t seem to care about his foul mood so she just pushes the stack of books away and sits beside him. She rests her chin on her palm, just watching Louis with a smile (too meaningful to be innocent) on her face. “Where’s Zayn?”

The question was too much for Louis that it hit him like those big and thick books just fell right to his head. He sighs. He wonders where he is as well. “I don’t know.”

“Oh.” She says, sounding a bit surprised. “I thought your butler was supposed to be with you all the time?”

 _Really?_ Was Eleanor sent here to make him feel worse? Stating the obvious things like what Merinda did last night makes him wants to hit her too.

Ever since last night, Louis got the feeling of releasing his frustrations towards anyone who talks to him. He flips the tray of tea offered to him by a substitute butler when he mentioned the wedding, he kicked the newly arranged flowers in the dining hall when he heard the maids talking about Zayn and he didn’t attend to Nick’s class – he might get really physical with him if he sees his face and Louis wants to avoid it.

Louis hears Eleanor take a deep breathe. “You miss him, don’t you?”

“What?! No. No. It’ not-“

“Like that? Oh come on, Lou. I know you. I can clearly see how much you miss your butler.” She shakes her head and looks at him in a way that Louis thinks, ‘Yeah maybe she really does see it’. He tries to say something to change the topic or find a way to deny it, but he can’t so he just settles with a faint nod.

“You do?”

“I just nodded, didn’t I? So yeah – I do. I do miss Zayn.” He clearly doesn’t know why Eleanor seems to be so interested in this one. It’s not normal to blurt out how you misses someone in front of your fiancé and still, there she was, smiling in a way as if she just heard the best of news. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What?” She asks innocently, cocking an eyebrow but still smiling. “Nothing’s wrong. I was just asking.”

“Why?” Louis sits up, brushing his finger on his scrunched nose.

“Because – I think you’re in love with Zayn. No. I don’t think you’re in love with him – I know and I believe you’re in love with him.”

Louis’s jaw drops, feet skidding on the floor as he stands up, words jumbling inside his throat. Eleanor watches her with amusement. She drops her hand on the table and crosses her fingers. “You’re reaction is a big giveaway, Lou.”

“Wait – you – how – why-“ Louis sputters, there’s so much questions ringing inside him all at once and all he could make out were the first words. Eleanor straightens up and looks like she understood all of it, gesturing Louis to sit back again. “El-“

“How did I know about it? It’s kind of obvious when you see yourself, Lou. You look at Zayn differently – and I’ve never seen you like that before. You looked at him like he’s the most important person ever existed in your life. I may not have been with you for the past years, but I know when you look at someone or something that’s important to you. Your eyes – they glow okay? And that time when you saved him from Georgia – the look on your face says everything. You can’t afford to lose him or just to let him get hurt. God, so much for reading romantic novels!” Eleanor laughs, the kind of laugh that echoes inside the room and turns to be a mocking laugh for Louis.

He wants to ask El how the fuck did she see all of that during their short time together and how she just comes up with that conclusion but the accuracy of her whole observation made Louis speechless. But what bothers him the most is the idea of how Eleanor speaks like she’s so cool with this and it’s not like they’re both off to marriage soon.

“Lou, don’t tell me you’re expecting both of us to get married?” Eleanor asks, leaning back and scrunching her eyebrows. “I mean – we both know there’s no way I’m going to live with you, right? And yeah, vice versa. You don’t like me and I don’t like you – right from the very beginning.”

Louis blinks. “I, uh-“

“Wait. So you actually thought – Oh my god. You’re letting this whole thing happen?”

“What? No!” Louis slams his fist on the table. “I was just shocked. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“My mum’s being a pain the ass. She’s forcing me to get friendly with your family, you know, business-reasons.” Louis tries not to look skeptical, but Eleanor reads it anyways. “Yeah, sucks right? It’s like I’m in a fairytale where my mum’s the evil witch and if she has to shove a poisonous apple on my mouth, she will.” Eleanor frowns, scratching the surface of the table with her finger. “But don’t worry, I won’t let her. I’m thinking of eloping with my boyfriend.”

Louis stills. He wonders how many revelations he could receive in one conversation with her. “You have a boyfriend? Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you have to pretend?”

“Pretend? Who’s pretending? I thought you were pretending!”

“Why the hell would I pretend?”

“Uhm, hello? You’re Louis Tomlinson. The guy who pretends to like me in front his parents and then pour paint on me we’re alone? That kind of Louis Tomlinson is the one I’m expecting to notice that this whole marriage thing ain’t happening.” Eleanor huffs, shaking her head and muttering something about ‘I can’t believe you thought it was real’. “Okay. I’m in love with a UNI student and I’m running away with him.”

“El, that’s not a good idea. People will think I encouraged you to do that so we won’t get engaged.”

“Let them worry. I don’t care. And besides, I’m doing you a big favor here, seeing you don’t know what’s actually happening.” She rolls her eyes and maybe if her hair wasn’t in a bun, she’ll be flipping it the whole time. “My mum is being hysterical lately and I need some distance away from her. Lucas lives in his own house in Australia. We’ll live there.”

“Still, you can’t run away. Your mum will kill me.”

“Let her try. She can’t even step foot on your gates even her life depends on it. If it still bothers you, fine – I’ll introduce Lucas, let my mum get swooned and then run away – sounds better?”

Louis nods firmly. “So, all those times you held my hand and kissed me like you’re so worried about me, they were all part of your act?”

“Duh, of course. I was wondering that time when will you confront me from stopping on smothering you. Although I must admit I have fun watching your butler react.”

Louis feels his heart leapt to his throat. “You mean, Zayn?”

“Who else, silly?  He looks at me like he’s about to strangle me to death whenever I talk about you. He’s so jealous he can’t hide it.”

Louis feels a lump on his throat and then he chokes. “Zayn’s jealous?”

“God. I thought you were doing all those things for him, you know, to make him more jealous or something.”

Louis forces out a smile. “If I had known that, I won’t be spending my time with you at all.” He looks at Eleanor with an apologetic face and Eleanor acknowledges it, smiling sweetly and nodding at him. “Honestly, I just found out Zayn loves me last night.”

Louis hears Eleanor gasps, her movements strained from where he sees her on his peripheral vision. “And all along, I was just – I was just messing around. I thought he was like those I slept with before. When I realized I have feelings for him, it’s became too complicated. I didn’t know what to do. There’s the engagement, and Zayn not talking to me and then all of a sudden he _left_.”

Louis buries his head on his hands, feeling the swell on the sides of his eyes. He knows he was about to cry again but he bites the insides of his cheeks. Crying makes him think that it’s over for both of them and that’s the least of things he wanted to think of. Something inside him burns just by the thought of having the only person who truly cares about him will leave him.

He feels Eleanor’s hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright, Lou. It’ll be alright. Tomorrow, Zayn will be back, and you’ll tell him everything. The wedding’s off and that you love him and you’re sorry.”

“What if it’s too late? What if he doesn’t want to listen to me anymore? I don’t even know what to say when he gets here!”

“Then you just have to wait. Just be honest. I may not know Zayn that much, but judging by the way he affected you, I know he’s a good guy. He’ll listen, no matter how much he hates you.”

“And if he still hates me?”

“Then you’ll have to wait.”

“I hate waiting.” Louis admits, shaking his head in dismay of the solution he got from El. It’s not like he doesn’t want to wait for Zayn or whatever he was waiting for, but these two days has been an absolute torture for him already, what more the idea of waiting without the reassurance that everything’s going to be alright?

He hears the faint sound of the chair moving beside him. Louis looks back and sees Eleanor standing and ready to leave. She pats his head and ruffles his hair endearingly. “Then do something to bring your butler back. I don’t know how, but just do it. It’s not like everyday you’re the one who’s willing to make an effort, right?”

“Are you insulting me?”

Eleanor says nothing and curtsied, even slightly lifting the ends of her skirt to make it more believable. “Your Majesty, I’m not insulting you. I’m actually _motivating_ you.”

Louis feels a lot better now, so he smiles naturally, waving his hand in front of Eleanor. “Get out from here. You’re not good at doing that.”

“Glad to know, ‘cause there’s no way I’m going to do that ever again.” Eleanor says, giving him a wink before she turns around and prances her way towards the exit.

Louis’s smile fades away as he turns to the window, seeing the sky slowly turning dark – the day is about to end, and he hasn’t thought much of what to say when he sees Zayn again. It scares him to think that Zayn might not be what Eleanor thinks of him. A person could change within a night, within a day or three days. He may not be Zayn anymore and probably just be his butler. Zayn was successful to be indifferent towards him before and he could do it again.

Louis can’t stand it. He can’t stand being alone again. He can’t stand convincing himself that he’s happy with what he’s doing before. Zayn taught him that. He taught Louis that someone will come to your life unexpectedly and will just change your whole game. And it doesn’t matter how evil you are, for as long as someone was willing to accept that and be there with you, all the times.

Louis wished he could’ve learned about Zayn’s feelings earlier, maybe it would’ve stopped him from hurting him, from saying those hurtful words and for doing things that meant differently for both of them. But if Zayn did, would he have accepted it or would he have humiliated him for having feelings towards him at that time? Louis feels like an idiot, thinking how much of an immature guy he was, for doing such foolish things not just on Zayn but to those before him as well.

This is what the people around him had warned about. It’s the time where he’s on top of the world and then someone whirls him around until he’s at the bottom, where it’ll hit him right to where it hurts, where it seems like it’s impossible to get back up.

And Louis hopes Zayn will be there when it happens.

\---

The next day arrives and Louis is wide awake. He’s already up, bathed and clothed for whatever activity he was about to do today. He’s done fixing the bed, pulling the curtains and dressing himself up. He wants to make sure that when Zayn knocks on his door, there’ll be no distractions. They’ll talk and Zayn doesn’t have to worry about anything. (And maybe, Zayn will get to compliment him too.)

Louis takes a couple of deep breathes, shifting uncomfortably on his seat on each minute that has passed. Any second by now, someone will be knocking on his door; calling him ‘Your Majesty’ and finally, he’ll see Zayn once again.

Louis glances to the clock for the hundredth time when a faint knock echoes inside the room. He stills for a moment and swallows thickly, his fingers curling against the handrest of his seat. _You could do this Louis._ He chants silently, standing up and walking carefully towards the door. All night he’s been thinking if it would be appropriate to attack Zayn with a hug or a kiss, but he realizes Zayn might still be angry at him and instead of kissing back, he might be kissing his fist.

“C-come in.” Louis’s throat feels dry and the words didn’t seem to make out of his mouth but then the knob turns and Louis feels his breathe stops and so does the whole world.

The door opens and Louis’s heart stops.

In front of him stands a person he had never seen in his life before. He looks like he’s of the same age as he is. He stands taller than him, that Louis looks up a bit to meet his brown eyes. The lad flinches and bows immediately, murmuring something to what Louis was expecting to hear – but not from him. When he stands up, Louis’s chest tightens.

He’s wearing the same clothes Zayn wore everyday. Those gloves, that chain of stopwatch at the chest pocket but that Zayn never uses as he prefers to look on his wristwatch and that coat of arms on his collar – the Tomlinsons’ Coat of Arms – the badge given to only those who were given the royal acceptance for the service of the family. It was the badge for the Prince’s butler.

His _butler_.  Zayn. Not him. Not this lad. Not anyone else.

“Who are you?” Louis blinks once, his eyes never leaving the badge he pins on his coat. “Where’s Zayn?”

“I’m Liam. Liam Payne, Your Majesty. I am your newly appointed butler. Zayn Malik has asked me to do this in replacement for his sudden leave. The King and Queen told me it’s not necessary for another ceremony anymore, but they said to me-“

“I don’t care what they said.” Louis cuts him off, irritation, disappointment, annoyance and anger bubbling inside of him all at once. His words didn’t make sense for him. All he could hear was Zayn Malik, replacement and sudden leave. “I’m asking you where Zayn is right now.”

“He’s off to New York, Your Majesty.” Liam says, his lips quivering and hands fumbling on his back.

“New-New York?! Why – what’s he going to do there? Why didn’t he tell me? Why wasn’t I informed about this?” Louis bellows, hands flying to Liam’s shoulder and pining him to the wall. “When did he leave? Since when did you become my butler?”

“Zayn is a friend of mine. He called me the other day, offering him this job. I asked him why he thought of leaving all of a sudden, and he told me – he wanted to do something else. He’s planning to study, Your Majesty. He said he wanted to be a Drama teacher and he’s been thinking about it ever since he entered the palace. He’s been saving money, Your Majesty.”

Louis’s grip loosens, letting him go as he steps away, hands flying to his hair. “No – Zayn. He – he never mentioned it to me before. He – he never told me he wanted to be a drama teacher!”

“I – I’m sorry. I didn’t believe him at first but he went to my house that night he called me, Your Majesty. He told me he already fixed everything. He already talked to the King and Queen and they agreed-“

“They agreed?! And they – they never mentioned anything to me, at all?” Louis falls back and manages to sit at the corner of the bed. He was out of breathe and he feels weak and sick. Zayn – he left. He really did leave him. And his parents – they know about it and they didn’t even ask for his consent. “This is a mistake – Zayn – he can’t, he can’t leave me.” Louis looks up at Liam who stayed to where he had pinned him. “You don’t understand, Liam. He can’t leave me! He’s my butler! He’s my only butler – he can’t – he can’t leave…”

Louis slams his fist repeatedly to the mattress, shouting and kicking in the air. He cries and he didn’t hold back. He cries and it hurts, it hurts so fucking much because he knows that Zayn wouldn’t be knocking on his door again. It hurts because he’s never going to see his face again. He’s never going to feel his lips on his, or on his temple or on his eyelids or on his nose or to every part of his body. It hurts because he’s never going to hear his voice again, to see him laugh, get uneasy from his requests. He’s never going to see Zayn again because he’s somewhere out there – miles and miles away from him because Zayn despises him. And it was better if Zayn will say it right to his face before he leaves, not like this. Not in a way that he’s telling him that he doesn’t have any chance at all. That no matter what he says or do, it wouldn’t matter anymore so it was better to just leave because nothing will change.

He doesn’t deserve a chance to turn back things. He doesn’t deserve Zayn at all.

And that realization hurts the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave some feedback please. It’ll definitely make my day! :) Please wait for the last chapter. I’m not sure when will I be posting it, but hopefully, it won’t be long. x


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the delay. It’s been a nice journey with you guys. Thanks a lot. Keep being awesome. I’m sorry there’s no epilogue, I’m shit at that. x

New York.

A place where there’ll be enough distance between Zayn and Louis. A place where he chose to run away from the rare job he has. A job he finally gave up after realizing that he indeed fell in love with his master and unfortunately, will never, ever return his feelings. New York will definitely be the place for him – a place where he could be just Zayn with a normal job, living a normal life.

The only thing is Zayn isn’t anywhere near New York. He didn’t even step to Heathrow Airport nor did he manage to get any ticket at all. He had enough money and guts do it, but it wasn’t really the plan. Instead, he took a cab that night and headed north, going straight to his hometown in Bradford.

He was able to find a decent flat in a matter of hours. Enough space to have a bunk bed, a very small bathroom and a single couch to fit in whenever his bed is being creaky and annoying that he couldn’t sleep at all. The day after that, he landed a job as an amateur bartender in a nearby bar, the owner not even asking for his skills and accepted him immediately ‘because he knows Zayn will attract a lot of customers, men and women’, whatever it meant, Zayn doesn’t bother asking as long as he got the job.

And now it has been two months.

Two months since he left the palace with that lie of pursuing his dream to study and become a Drama teacher, heading straight to New York. Well, maybe it isn’t exactly all lies. He may not be in New York, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be chasing on that life-long dream he never mentioned to anyone before. He always wondered if it would surprise Louis once he finds out about what he secretly wanted. Then again, would Louis even bother to care at all? Did he even got worried when he left? Wondered what he’s doing now, where he is – did he even try to find him?

Zayn knows the answer is a big no. He mentally kicks himself for this. He’s doing it again – this stupid, hopeful wishing that Louis would care even just a little bit. Did he feel the ache Zayn left with him, or did it went away the moment he was gone too? Does he stay up at night and feels this painful longing for someone who and never will be his? Or maybe, he’s too busy fucking – or being fucked by someone else to even think about it, now that he’s a bachelor once again after his engagement with Eleanor was sacked, two weeks after Zayn left.

That time, Zayn was so happy he thought of going back to the palace, only to realize that with or without Eleanor. Nothing will change between the two of them.

Thinking all these things at once is enough to make him feel sad, angry and disappointed at himself all at the same time. This is the time where he thinks all the things he could’ve done. If it’d be better if he confronted Louis about his feelings instead of running away like a fucking headless chicken because he’s too afraid to get rejected or if it’s better if he stayed a bit longer, then Louis might’ve developed some feelings for him as well.

He snorts at that one. Zayn shakes his head pitifully and takes a quick swig of his rum, feeling the burnt, caramel taste of it run down his throat. Working at a bar has some privileges, including free shitty drinks to get drunk into after his shift. He sighs, mumbling a curse in the air as his stomach makes this uneven turn.

He’s in this some sort of shithole, having this stupid feeling that never leaves him and the endless thought of nothing but LouisLouisLouis. On how he got his heart broken because of a relationship he thought would work. Of all the people he could madly get inlove with, he ended up falling for someone who doesn’t give a shit about him at all.

And yet, given with all these feelings - these pathetic feelings - Zayn could never blame or get angry at Louis. Just thinking of hurting him hurts Zayn even more. He always knew that in the end, this is his fault. He knew what he was getting into the moment he stepped in to the gates of the palace. He was given all kinds of warnings, from his co-workers, from Harry, even from Niall, who gave him a very straightforward advice about his friend. His path was laid out in front of him and yet, he chose the other one, the one with bumps and thorns and flames.

He ignored all of these warnings, that none of it was true and convinced himself that he knew Louis better than the others. But in the end, as he looks back to everything that had happened – it was him who never knew Louis at all. He was just his butler, nothing more. Not even this bloody wine, or his life-long dream, or their distance - no matter how far they are from each other – could make him forget about that.

—-

Louis stares on the three pictures laid out in front of him. Pursing his lips, Louis looks back to the man standing in front of him, looking quite pleased to himself. Rolling his eyes, Louis shifts to his seat, leaning close and eyeing every photo with disbelief. This can’t be real, he says to himself, fingers digging to the edge of the table.

It’s been two months since Zayn left the palace without a word. Liam mentioned Zayn’s dream to become a drama teacher and so he went to New York. It was a hard hit on Louis’s side, as if Zayn hit him himself, only he’s not there. And despite the urge he felt to chase Zayn there, he knew he shouldn’t.

That it’s something he shouldn’t take away from Zayn. He had been too much trouble to him already. He had hurt Zayn and messed with his feelings – he had every right to run away and not to go back. And most of all, he’s scared to see how Zayn despises him, how his eyes which looked at him before with tenderness will be nothing but dark and full of anger. And even if he was given the chance to explain, Louis might as well cut his tongue.

So what do these pictures mean? He sees Zayn in all three, two of them were blurred, and judging from the way it looks like, he assumes it’s a bar.

He looks into the first one, just quick shot of Zayn pouring drinks to someone’s glass and the other one showed Zayn wiping the tables. The last one makes Louis’s breathe hitch. He finds it hard to believe that this person is his butler. Zayn’s quiff was replaced by a thick, muss of scruffy hair. He’s got some facial hair too, something Louis never thought would look really hot and good on him. And instead of seeing him in his usual head-to-toe black coat, Zayn’s wearing a fitted white shirt and faded jeans. He looks really different, yet still attractive. Something Zayn never fails to be. He would’ve spent hours admiring this picture, if only he wasn’t bothered by something else.

“You said a while ago, you took this shot here, and not in New York. Where exactly?”

The man, finally happy to be noticed, puffs his chest and smiles widely. “Bradford, Your —”

“And how did you get to Bradford when I asked you to go to New York?” Louis interrupts, eyebrow twitching as he leans forward and rests his elbow on the table. Hearing Your Majesty without the thick accent of Zayn makes him want to punch anyone who speaks it. Bradford, the place has a certain ring on his head, yet he couldn’t remember where he heard or seen it.

The man stiffens for a bit and then hastily gets something from his leather satchel which turns out to be stacks of papers. He spreads the papers just like the pictures and Louis sees nothing but words and numbers all in small fonts that it makes his head hurt. He brushes his hand on one paper, “What the fuck am I supposed to do with these?”

“Your –“

“Stop calling me that.” Louis snaps, his hand unconsciously crumpling the paper underneath it. “Just tell me what these papers got to do with Zayn.”

The man takes a deep breathe. “They’re the latest reports of Heathrow Airport departures to New York, last month until last week. Every person whose flight was booked going there should be in the list, but Zayn’s name wasn’t included.”

“What do you mean it’s not included?”

“Zayn never left for New York, Your – I’m sorry. He didn’t go to the airport. He went to Bradford, his ho—“

“Hometown.” Louis cuts him off, finally remembering the place where Zayn was brought up. That information he kept reading and was able to memorize when he found out about his newly appointed butler. “But how did you know he’s there?”

The man, who seems to be waiting for this question, quirks his lips up and raises his head a bit higher, “After you gave me his information – I thought of going to Bradford immediately after I found out he’s not in the list. The city’s easy to sweep and look for Zayn, a few pictures and people recognized him. He’s working at a bar as a part-time bartender.” He finishes, looking like he just hit the jackpot.

“And his studies? I thought – I thought he was studying?” Louis asks, his heart pounding hard against his chest. This is not the news he’s waiting to hear. When this person, whatever his name is, called him to tell he knows where Zayn is, Louis expected to see photos of him having a good time in New York, being surrounded by students or alone in a library with stacks of books around him – that’s how he imagined this report.

Instead, this is like a fucking revelation. And he can’t exactly point out what he’s feeling.

“The owner was a bit protective of the lad. He thought I was trying to get him for my own business so he refused to give any information. But he told me Zayn never mentioned anything about college. Although he admits he had seen him reading books about certain topics like theatre and screenplays once or twice when he’s not doing anything. He might be self-studying.”

Louis feels his head hurt – there were too many things he found out and it didn’t make him feel any better. Zayn lied to him about going to New York. He never really left in the first place. Does it mean he asked Liam to tell that lie and make everyone believe he’s in a place where he couldn’t be found? Where Louis wouldn’t dare go? Is that his reason?

Well, fuck this. He’d hear Zayn’s explanation himself. Leaving him without a word was something he could understand, but lying to him? That’s a different case. And right now, Louis is not in the mood to think about his actions. He looks up and smirks at the person staring at him with curiosity.

“How would you like to assist the Prince on his journey to Bradford?”

—-

Zayn wakes up from the loud cackle of the thunder outside his window. He blinks his eyes open just in time a blinding light flashes before him. He sits up, finding his upper body on the floor and his legs on his bed – fuck, he can’t even remember how he got home safely.

And then right on cue, his head aches as if someone was drilling his head until it splits open. Luckily, his sense of balance keeps up with him, letting him walk to that small cabinet of his and picks up a packet of what he assumes as Advil. His head thumps in a steady rhythm as he reaches for a glass of water, drinking it in one gulp and hoping that the effect would be immediate. He looks at the clock hanging against the wall, it reads: 2:43 AM. Bloody hell. He needs to go back to sleep, this is too early for a hangover.

Just as he walks away from the counter, he hears a faint knock coming from his door. He stills, thinking it was just the thunders. He waits for another knock and when nothing came, he turns around and heads straight to the bed – when he hears another one. This time, it’s clearer and louder.

Who would knock on his door at this time? Zayn wonders, but silently heads for the door anyways. It might be someone who got caught in the middle of the rain, finding nothing else to stay in. Or, it could be one of his neighbours, asking his help to fix something. Zayn knows well that a lot of units in this apartment aren’t really built for holding storms and heavy rains.

He steps closer and Zayn hears mumbling, of what seems to be a conversation between two persons. Zayn takes a deep breath and turns the knob. His eyes caught familiar blue eyes staring back at him – Louis. Shit.

Zayn gulps. His eyes immediately look to the tall guy running back to his car. When Zayn meets Louis’s eyes once again, his breath hitches, his heart stops – he’s not that drunk to imagine people suddenly knocking on his door. This is real. It’s Louis. Louis is in front of his doorstep. Prince Louis Tomlinson is in front of him. His Majesty.

What the hell is he doing in here?

“So it’s true. You really are here.” Louis blinks back the raindrops that settled on his eyelashes. Zayn has the urge to wipe it away, but he’s too shocked to move from where he stands. “You’re not in New York. You’re here.”

“Louis, what are you doing here?” Zayn asks, his eyes dropping to the wet floor on where Louis stands. “You shouldn’t be-“

Zayn’s words were cut off as Louis lunges to him, his back hitting against the wall. “Why did you lie to me? Why did you have to disappear just like that without explaining anything – without telling me what you really wanted to say all along? You should’ve told me you loved me from the start!” Louis yells, crumpling Zayn’s collars around his fist.

Zayn can’t believe he’s hearing this. This is worse than he had imagined their meeting to be. He slowly puts his hand on Louis’s knuckles, pushing his hand away from him. Louis loosens his grip and steps back, his eyes recoiling when he met Zayn’s cold eyes, looking back at him. “I should’ve told you, I love you?” Zayn laughs humourlessly, “What’s that supposed to mean? That it should’ve changed everything between us if I did? Is that what you’re trying to say? That if I told you I’m in love with you, you wouldn’t treat me just like the other people you’ve played and slept with before? Is that it?”

Louis drops his head. “Zayn…I – I…”

“You’re making it sound too easy. You think that’s how it goes? You think you could just walk in front of the person you love and tell them those three words without having the fear of getting rejected? Of getting hurt? Of not being loved back? Do you want me to believe that if I told you I loved you from the start, none of this could’ve happened?”

“I - I didn’t want to hurt you…” Louis looks up, his cheeks bright and tears building up in the corner of his eyes. He reaches for Zayn’s hand, but the lad pulls it back and Louis feels like somebody just stabbed him right to his chest. And the more he sees the coldness of Zayn’s eyes, those which looked at him with care and love before; he feels that knife stabbing him again and again, cutting him deeper.

Zayn closes his eyes. “Of course you didn’t. How could you know you were hurting somebody when you’re too busy having fun? You loved that feeling, don’t you? You loved how much one person’s life revolves around you and will do anything for you.” Zayn spats, trying to convince himself that every word he throws at Louis would be enough to take this pain away from him. He wanted it to.

Louis wipes away his tears from the back of his hand, his voice breaking as he tries to pull out the right words he’s been dying to say ever since Zayn left. “I love you, Zayn. I really do – I love you and I didn’t mean to hurt you…”

Zayn looks up, taking a couple of deep breathes as he feels his tears running down his cheeks. “God, you have no idea how much I wanted to hear those words, Lou.” Zayn bites his bottom lip as he feels his chest squeezes, “But now that I’m actually hearing it? I don’t know anymore.”

Louis shakes his head, trying to fight back the tears.

“And you know what the worst part is? It’s that I could never get angry at you, no matter what I do. And everytime I try to be, I only ended up hating myself, ‘cause I knew right from the very start I brought myself into this. I know who you are and what you do, and yet I convinced myself, you’re not that person. And at the end of the day, you know what? I still love you. I hate myself because no matter what you do – even if you get married or have kids, 10 or 20 years after – I know that I will still feel the same way.” Zayn takes a step closer, their distance now closed to an arm length. “And it will always be like that.”

Louis feels Zayn’s hot breathing against his cheeks. He trembles to where he stands but there’s no way he’s going away. If this is the closest he could get to him before this is over, then so be it. If only the time would stop and they’ll stay like this. If only it didn’t have to end this way.

What Louis didn’t expect was the feeling of Zayn’s fingers suddenly touching his jaw, making him look up and meet Zayn’s eyes once again. Louis feels the dampness of his cheeks as Zayn moves his fingers, slowly caressing his skin Zayn inches closer, his lips ghosting over his eyes and Louis couldn’t help but to cry harder.

“I’m so sorry…” Louis sobs, his hands reaching at the end of Zayn’s shirt. “I know it’ll never be enough but I really am sorry. When you left I didn’t know what to do, I just want you to come back so badly. I want you to knock on my door again – I want to see you and to hear your voice and touch you and kiss you and I just – I hope it’s not too late to make it up to you. ‘Cause I have no idea how I’m going to move on from this…I’ve never —-“

Louis words became nothing but muffles as Zayn seals their lips together, pressing Louis’s body closer to him until their chests press against each other. “If you’re just saying this because you need me to –“

“No. I’m not doing this just because I want you to be my butler and do things that I want you to do before…I’m saying this because this is how I feel and I want you to feel it too. I want to give what you’ve always given to me. And I want to take away all the pain…” Louis runs his hand through his hair, pushing his lips back to Zayn’s. “I love you, Zayn…”

Zayn snakes his arm around the waist of Louis, kissing slowly. He guides Louis back to his bed, stripping their clothes on their way. Zayn’s hands grip Louis close, not even wanting his body to pull away from him, not even one bit. It’s ridiculous how his anger disappeared just like that, as if it was never even there. Yet, he didn’t not to question it, knowing that it’ll always be the same answer. It’s because it’s Louis. 

“I’ve always wanted you to like me…” Louis murmurs next to his ear, his fingers digging on his back as he drops Louis to bed. “Always wanted your attention…”

Zayn kisses his neck and Louis keens, legs automatically wrapping around Zayn’s slender waist. “You always had my attention…” Zayn whispers, his hands sliding to the side of his hips, mouthing on every skin his lips could touch. Louis’s hips jerk as Zayn starts to press his fingers insider him, his other hand braced beside Louis’s head, watching his blue eyes dilate and his face contorts.

Louis throws his head back, keeping his eyes open and staring at Zayn. There was this one thing he refused to see before and now he sees it clearly – that the way Zayn looks at him right from the very start they did this was always different. He never looked at him like they’re just fucking – his eyes always said something and Louis wished he had seen it before, had become more aware instead of hurting Zayn. “I promise, I won’t hurt you again…”

Zayn says nothing and just pushes his fingers faster until Louis’s grip on his waist tightens, his words becoming incoherent and his breathing turning into rough gasps. Zayn watches the lad closely – even though how many times he had seen him like this, it’s something Zayn will never get used to. He loved how many different things they do, and yet every feeling with it is always the same. Watching how his body moves underneath him, how his voice is the only thing he hears even with the loud thunders and the deafening sound of the heavy rain and how his skin burns to where Louis touches him.

“Promise me you won’t leave me, Zayn…” Louis bites his chin, his eyes fluttering to a close as Louis feels the emptiness of Zayn’s fingers inside him be replaced by a familiar burning stretch, travelling throughout his entire system. “Promise me you’re going to stay with me and that – that you would always be by my side – ah, ah – please…you have to promise…”

Zayn’s breathing got heavier, his head dropping on Louis’s forehead and his elbows beside it. “I promise…I promise I won’t leave you…I promise – I promise, no matter what happens, I will be where you want me to be.” Zayn thrusts harder and faster; Louis pushing his body with him in such a perfect rhythm. “I’ll stay by your side…”

Digging his fingernails on the back of Zayn, Louis’s back arches up, the heat coiling on his stomach and the intense feeling that goes with it was too much too handle. Pulling his body to Zayn as close as he could, Louis whispers, “I love you…” as he clenches around Zayn. 

‘I love you’ Zayn breathes out, his lips finding Louis’s as he empties himself inside of Louis, collapsing next to him afterwards. They smiled at each other as if an argument hadn’t existed before all of this. They knew what they wanted, they’ve said what they needed to say and questions that wouldn’t be of much help between them were completely left behind. Their fingers intertwine between their bodies, eyes only seeing nothing but each other and smiles saying that this very moment is where they always wanted to be.

“Wait, does this mean I’m still your butler and I should go back to the palace?”

“Well, it’s your choice. You could still be my butler for the next coming years, or you want to help me rule England, it’s your choice…” Louis trails, nuzzling to Zayn’s neck and whispers, “I can’t wait to see you in my clothes, Z.”

And Zayn couldn’t find a reason to argue with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone. I’m so sorry for all the delay that I’ve caused. Another fic is done! Hopefully, there’d be more. But for the meantime, I’ll be working on oneshots and prompts, before I work on my next serious writing which is ‘Bordeaux’, a oneshot sequel of You’re Mine! Aha. ;) I know the ending is a bit cliché (probably shitty too), but leave some feedback yeah? :D


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